The wine is just for the adults

Awww… But it’s their birthday!

We still (😭) live in the US, dammit!

You can do lots of stuff in the US. Just don’t get caught!

Pretty sure giving alcohol to your own children, in your own house, is just fine (er… Legally speaking!). Hell, kids are allowed to partake in drinking the communion wine at church.

Yeah but then you’d have to go in a church.

People often say “god is everywhere”, or whatever. Just invent a religion and decree that your house is a church of it.