M R. X. DentithSo, chapter 7 is meta. It’s about how Penguin Random House (publisher of #TheSecretOfSecrets & the in-fiction publisher of noeticist Katherine Solomon’s forthcoming) uses secure virtual workspaces for really important, best-selling books. It reads a little like Brown saying “I’m still big!”
At the same time, the secure virtual workspace has been hacked. So, suck it Penguin Random House: Dan Brown obviously thinks your security sucks!
That’s enough for tonight; tomorrow things will resume!
I won’t be reading any more chapters until tonight, but one thing I failed to note yesterday is that Brown’s prose is no better. At one point the nominal villain “climbs obscurely” and what Brown means is “the villain climbs the stairs into his hideout”…
Chapter 8 a) maintains the myth that absinthe is a potent hallucinogen (showing that Brown has never drunk the stuff) and b) reveals that unbeknownst to the hero, a bomb was defused earlier that morning. So Langdon was right to pull the fire alarm after all!
There’s also some more noetics stuff, largely arguing for human precognition. The book has the usual boilerplate of “The science described is correct” but the experiments Brown is referring to that seemingly prove the humans are precogs are dubious at best…
Chapter 9 is the back story of the Golem of Prague, rather than the backstory of the Golem who is the nominal villain. Even then Brown chooses one of the less interesting versions of the story of Rabbi Loew’s golem
Chapter 10 is yet another case of narrative procrastination. Possibly the introduction of the American Embassy attaché might lead to something later, but by the end of the chapter no one knows anything more than they did 6 pages earlier
Meanwhile, in chapter 11, Penguin Random House is having IT problems, which we could have guessed from the essentially the same chapter about Penguin Random House a few chapters earlier
Chapter 12 features an interrogation of Langdon by the Czech secret police, who—quite reasonably—find his explanation of why he pulled the fire alarm fantastical: Langdon’s girlfriend had a bad dream and Langdon thought he saw part of that dream come to life on his morning run
Said police officer, Captain Janáček will likely be a thorn in Langdon’s side for two thirds of the book until he becomes a reluctant ally come the conclusion
I spoke too soon: the attaché, Michael, turns out to be doing some off-the-books work for the US ambassador that probably is plot critical. So much for chapter 13
In chapter 14 the Golem goes to a bar (but not to drink) and Brown spills all the goss he read about Prague in a Lonely Planet guide
Chapter 15 takes us back to Penguin Random House, where an editor is happy to work off paper and an IT person is keen to hack the hackers. Another pointless chapter of narrative procrastination
Chapter 16 is a taxi ride to a lab in Prague, and features Langdon reminiscing about teaching his students the Barnum Effect. I can’t help but think that Robert Langdon must be one of the most irritating Ivy League lecturers ever!
Chapter 17 is yet another Penguin Random House episode. At least an editor gets kidnapped; it’s an advance of the plot in some sense!
The problem with this book is that the blurb on the back reveals a crucial plot point that hasn’t occurred yet, and this all this preamble (at least a tenth of the book) seems very boring
Chapter 18 reveals that the villainous organisation is called Q, its leader is on nootropics, and the whole “A Golem enters a bar” was just so he could send an email…
Chapter 19: in which Captain Janáček gets someone to first shoot a door and then spin kick it open!
Chapter 20 is all about how Yanks don’t really care about data sovereignty.
Chapter 21 finally suggests that Langdon is about to do one of his patent symbology interpretation things. And then there’s the revelation that his girlfriend is not a materialist. Which one could have worked out from the whole “She believes in precognition!” thing earlier
Chapter 22 reveals that Langdon has indeed worked out what an art piece meant, but only to find out that there is a second puzzle. So, finally the main character is doing something. However, as I prepare for bed, something just struck me
Captain Janáček has not arrested Langdon for pulling a fire alarm; he just wants to question him and his girlfriend. They have gone to where Katherine should be; a lab outside the city centre.
Finding no one is answering the door Janáček has ordered the main door be shot at & now he wants a demolition team to blow up some art to get access to an elevator. This seems like a hideous overreaction to an American tourist pulling a fire alarm because they thought there was a bomb in their hotel
But that is the “quality” of plotting and characterisation one gets with a Dan Brown novel. That and a lot of product placement. Good night!
And so it begins again! More of me reading the #TheSecretOfSecrets so you don’t have to!
Okay, so chapter 23 starts off with a very #AccidentalPartridge paragraph!
This chapter is more of the Penguin Random House stuff, and most of it is an editor who has been kidnapped thinking he can outwit his captors by using all the information he gleaned from editing spy novels. It’s technically a good bit but it’s also tonally different from the stuff in Prague
Chapter 24 shows the two sides of Robert Langdon. One side is the master puzzle solver (who apparently got all the information he ever needed in prep school). The other is the controlling bore who thinks he knows better than the women in his life
Chapter 25 tells us that the Golem is right behind Langdon, which we knew was going to happen because we were told that a few chapters ago. This is a very long book and a lot of it is repetition…
Chapter 26 sees the American Ambassador tell Captain Janáček six words that changes his life. We won’t be told what these six words are for at least two, maybe three chapters…
In chapter 27 Langdon explores an underground lab, reminisces about a bad VR experience, and finds a body in a white casket!
Back at the US Embassy, chapter 28 concerns how the US ambassador has also turned the world of the US attaché upside down, and how his lover isn’t going to take it! Those six words better be interesting!
A research assistant manages to swear in Cyrillic in chapter 29. And the body in the casket turns out to not be Katherine after all (not that any reader was expecting it to be anyway)
Okay, so I was wrong to think Captain Janáček would turn out to be a reluctant companion to Langdon by the end of the book; he seems to have died after being pushed off a cliff by the Golem. Still, we did find out what the six words were: There was no bomb (it could have been four)
We also find out that Janáček faked the bomb threat because he was working with the real villains. Not out of support for their work; he just wanted to embarrass some Americans. Frankly, I understand his motivation in this regard
Chapter 31 takes us back to the US Embassy where the attaché’s girlfriend is using surveillance software to track a mysterious woman, who I think is going to turn out to be Katherine. It would resolve the mystery of the vision that came true (I.e. Katherine “fulfilled” her vision to con Langdon)
Chapter 32 details the horrors of mental asylums in Russia. It’s kind of relevant I guess
More Penguin Random House stuff in chapter 33, but some of it supports my contention that Katherine isn’t quite the innocent victim Langdon thinks she is. Then again, he’s used the “love interest is slightly villainous” trope before
This book has 139 chapters, plus a prologue and epilogue. I’m bored at chapter 33!
I’ve long argued that every Dan Brown book gets worse. The last one I thought had any vague merit was #Inferno, but that was pretty bad compared to #AngelsAndDemons, which gives the notion of an “Airport thriller” a bad name
Chapter 35 and I have a new hypothesis: Langdon will have a new assistant and potential love interest in the form of lab assistant Sasha.
Chapter 36 has already refuted one of my hypotheses: the woman from Katherine’s vision (the reason for the fire alarm being pulled, etc.) doesn’t appear to be Katherine but rather some field agent working for someone…
Chapter 37 reveals that only two hours have passed since chapter 1. I feel like it’s been so much longer…
I seem to have got the chapter numbering wrong at some point; I’m up to chapter 37 now, which my ebook reader tells me is a mere 26% of the way through the book
Chapter 37 features Langdon being clever & makes a reference to Holmes’ dictum (which in turn makes Langdon’s clever deduction seem trite). But the problem with this chapter is that by now the reader knows more that Langdon, so his cleverness reveals something most readers have already worked out
And then chapter 38 confirms Langdon’s theory. Not in his presence; it’s just confirmed for the reader. But most readers don’t need to be carefully explained the plot in triplicate
Chapter 39 is more of the adventures of a Penguin Random House editor, who is now reminiscing about the time someone conned him into publishing their book based upon a cheap illusion.
I’m sure chapter 39 is setting something up with the whole vel spear, but at the moment it’s just yet another vague thing in a novel that is taking too long to get going
Gah; that was chapter 40!
In chapter 41 some cats materialise and Robert Langdon gets a note from the Golem
Chapter 42 reveals that the US Ambassador is a bad person. This is somehow something readers need to be told rather than just know…
Chapter 43 sees Robert Langdon put his loafers on over his wet socks
I think Brown is more interested in writing the adventures of the Penguin Random House editor than he is those of Robert Langdon. Whatever the case, chapter 45 is all about an heroic escape that turns out to be the villains making the editor think he has escaped
Brown isn’t establishing any tension in this story. As soon as character x thinks they have done something he has a section in the same chapter telling the reader what really happened
Meanwhile, back at the embassy a character who has already been named and linked to the mysterious villains turns out to not be on an Echelon database. So, we’re just being told things we already knew. Again. Thanks chapter 45
Chapter 46 is all about Pavel, Janácěk’s offsider, plotting his revenge against Langdon. I wonder if he’s going to end up as the reluctant ally?
Chapter 47 sees Langdon realise that maybe the mysterious unsigned note that has sent him to Petrin Tower was a distraction. Oh well, at least we get to hear Langdon’s thoughts on social media and texting (not a fan)
Unexpectedly, in chapter 48, the Golem kills the US attaché. We also find out that the Golem is epileptic. This is a vital clue that he’s connected to the person who invited Katherine, Langdon’s girlfriend, to Praha.
Katherine has sent Langdon a message in Enochian. But chapter 49 ends with armed police turning up at the base of the tower Langdon is currently stuck on, so translation/interpretation will have to wait.
Langdon escapes. All in one chapter (50). In the old days Brown would have got a chapter cliffhanger or two out of an escape but now… Well, this was also the problem for #Origin. I suspect his divorce robbed him of a co-author who knew how plotting worked…