$100 says this meme won’t get more than 50 upvotes

I have bad news for you.

Meh there’s only 2 outcomes i always win my 50:50s

I wanted to try stock trading. I literally just had to pick whether it was going to go up or down (to get a positive return) and I picked the ones that looked like they were already going up. I somehow managed to get a negative return anyway after six months.

The moral of the story is don’t trust me with money.

Stock trading is for chumps.

Try options trading. In 6 months you’ll be rich or blowing strangers behind dumpsters for 20.