$100 says this meme won’t get more than 50 upvotes
I have bad news for you.
Meh there’s only 2 outcomes i always win my 50:50s

I wanted to try stock trading. I literally just had to pick whether it was going to go up or down (to get a positive return) and I picked the ones that looked like they were already going up. I somehow managed to get a negative return anyway after six months.

The moral of the story is don’t trust me with money.

If they were already going up, it was too late. Just buy index funds and don’t try and pick winners.