My 20s and early thirties are a blur. 2009-2015 is pretty much completely missing from my memory. My 6 year binge (with my overall drinking) might have some presents for me in my future.

I’ve been sober for 2 years but it does scare me that I already did the damage. Oh well I guess. At the time, it was my coping mechanism. I don’t have cravings anymore because now I can clearly see it as poison but the damage might already be done.

If someone is really lucky they can develop alcohol intolerance like I did. It’s a medical condition. I used to enjoy the occasional beer, red wine, bourbon, sake, whatever. I really liked them. Not to excess, except occasionally when out with friends. But it crept up on me slowly— at first the next day became harder and harder, and soon it was later that night, then within hours of having a drink or two, then while I was drinking the first glass… I thought it was just getting old, but it just kept getting worse.

Those “non-alcoholic” beers taste great these days, but they still have <0.5% alcohol. The last time I had a single NA pale ale I had a headache, brain fog, and lethargy for over 24 hours. God help me if I have a regular beer now… I haven’t tried it in years, but last time I had mild nausea and other hangover symptoms halfway through sipping it. Water, drinking extremely slowly, etc. doesn’t help. My body just can’t metabolize alcohol anymore.

Of course I don’t feel compelled to drink in the same way an alcoholic does, but I do empathize in my own small way with their plight when going out. I want to join in, but I stick to water instead, knowing that a drink would completely wreck me and I’d regret it for days.

That <0.5%, if I understand it correctly, is basically nothing. A cursory search showed that there are a lot of food and drinks that are at around that level. A ripe banana can have 0.4% by itself!