My 20s and early thirties are a blur. 2009-2015 is pretty much completely missing from my memory. My 6 year binge (with my overall drinking) might have some presents for me in my future.

I’ve been sober for 2 years but it does scare me that I already did the damage. Oh well I guess. At the time, it was my coping mechanism. I don’t have cravings anymore because now I can clearly see it as poison but the damage might already be done.

As someone who drinks pretty much every day, how much were you drinking??

It was different every day but the absolute minimum was a 6 pack. That was on a day I had things to do. If I had a day where I had obligations, I’d settle for a six pack with a 6%abv because I could regulate it by the hour because of my body weight.

On average I was drinking a handle a day. Easy.

On days I was trying to “regulate myself” I was still drinking 9%abv IPAs.

Was in it.

I know if I have to ask I have a problem. But I do hide some of my drinking from my wife because she is extra sensitive about it. Like having 2-3 IPAs in a week she thinks is too much for me. I think it unfortunately makes me drink MORE because if I’m gonna have 2-3 IPAs a couple nights a week I might as well make it 3 times a week. Etc. (It’s rarely ever 3 though).

I’m not a day drinker. I never drive. Etc. But I do feel a bit of a dependency. It’s been the same level for years though. I never black out or forget stuff. I never have more in the house than I plan to drink in a night.

Idk. I’m just typing this for my own rationalization at this point. I know no amount is healthy. But I also don’t really want to stop either. I exercise and eat ok otherwise. I’m a tiny bit overweight and that’s literally the beer. Would be a good reason to stop or reduce the amount of nights.

I have an ex-wife. She didn’t like me drinking either. We were married for 5 years, together for 7. She ultimately ended up cheating and we got divorced.

Anyway, I was sober for the last 2 years of our relationship.

She don’t cheat because of my drinking. It was just a way out but I can tell you this… her as my wife, I should have just accommodated her wishes when it came to drinking from the get go.

Ultimately I’m there JW anyway but that didn’t have anything to do with the divorce. I still got 50/50 custody because by the time the divorce happened I had been sober for two years and I quit cold turkey. Hardest thing I’ve done.

If you’re drinking that little, there are non alcoholic 0.0 beers you could lean on and maybe ease the two of you.

You still get the refreshing taste and she gets her peace of mind.

I know. I was married too and you have your things and she has your things. You just have to decide if the minimal amount you’re already drinking is worth the altercations.

It isn’t.

I still get urges sometimes but it’s only when life really hands it to me. I still tell myself that all it’s gonna do is speed up the day and put me further behind n accounting for my responsibilities. Which is true. I binge today, I’m out for 2-3 days recouping just to get a right headspace and even then, with where I’m at, probably a month.

My thinking gets to fucking out of whack after a day of drinking that I just can’t do it anymore if I want any control in my life.

Stay in control. If you can’t not have those few beers, even if you feel entitled and it’s not a big deal… resentment can lead to the drinking.

Just think about it. You’re entitled to your own decisions. It doesn’t sound like you’re being b the level I ever was but it’s a battle I would t fight with a spouse.

It’s a battle I would’ve fought before they became my spouse.

Thanks for the response. You should be a counselor or something. Good advice without being judgemental. Appreciate it.