My sister passed away last August 15. Allegedly, she was on the Asperger spectrum. She lived with my parents her whole life, all 45 years, mostly in Honduras, but the last 3 in Costa Rica.

She died from complications of what initially seemed like a routine surgical procedure while they were visiting in Honduras. The sheer outpouring of love for her was staggering.

When initially diagnosed, my parents were told she would never amount to anything, she probably would never walk, let alone talk. She did all that and so much more. Her high school classmates cried publicly during her wake.my parents heard from a previous teacher how interacting with Ana Maria opened her eyes and changed her calling and the course of her career. Her church community, with whom she walked in faith for decades accompanied us in humbling numbers.

All that, was in Honduras. There, she was cremated and brought back to Costa Rica. There, her new found church community mourned her as well. And then came family…

I’ve always known that we have a big united family in Costa Rica, in sharp contrast to our much smaller family in Honduras, where the few youth migrated and all the elders passed away. In Costa Rica my family was visibly shaken. We received so much love it is hard to describe.

My whole life, I was worried about how I would care for Ana María once my parents passed. Now that feels so foolish. I have since discovered more than one cousin had seriously considered taking care of her when my parents were gone. Now I wish had worried more about spending time with her while I could than worrying about the future.

I have been blessed to have a job that has given me the space to grieve her loss. I have been able to spend some quality time with my parents. We need each other so much, we feel her absence so deeply. We are at peace, we know God had a perfect plan all along and we realize how blessed we were to have her all those years. But while we have peace and love in our hearts, we get constant reminders that she’s gone.

Today I took a long hot shower, as I got out I saw her fingers smearing the foggy mirror. 😭

I always thought she was the one who had social challenges. Now I realize what a fool I have. I was the limited one all along.

♥️