StametsMake it fucking stop
MachineFab812Joke’s on them. Ignoring it is the easy part. Guilt doesn’t help. Meds do.
Meanwhile, constant anxiety kills you young. Imagine being so obsessed with being useful that you don’t live long enough to pull it off.
JusticeForPorygonMe taking meds so my anxiety is controlled enough for me to procrastinate till the last minute
Its sad how well this life-hack works, until it doesn’t. IME, of course.
IninewCrowcountry music talked about that years ago … I still enjoy quoting an old song from Hank Williams from the 1940s
“I’ll never get out of this world alive!”
I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive
CarbonIceDragonWould’ve been ironic if Hank Williams had later become an astronaut.
I think several of the astronaut crews were fans of Hank Williams … I pretty sure one of them played this tune while floating in space looking down at the earth.
If you do getsome time off, you can always fill it with worry and anxiety!
As a wise meme I saw the other day stated, worrying about things works: 95% of the things I worry about never happen!
Meh, not really. Things to sort out come in batches and are spread out.
For me the the surprising thing about adulting was how many exams there are. I genuinely believed that once I got my degree I would be done with studying for exams but no, they never end. Language exams, professional certifications, license exams for different hobbies. This shit never ends.
I graduated almost 15 years ago and have never taken another exam lol
Maybe it’s just me then :(
Yup, just you. The only “exams” I took after becoming an adult were at college or when I took an open book, written exam to move my driver’s license to a new state. There are some certifications I could take, but they’re not necessary so I don’t bother.
nullThe neat part is that “chilling” is one of the things you need to put on that to-do list and make time for too!
Might work for some people, though that has never worked for me. Budgeting time to chill just leaves me feeling like the clock is always ticking on my chill time. And that stress ends up making my chill time less chill.
It’s like going to bed when anxious. You’re worried about not getting enough sleep for something stressful the next day, but then that stress about not getting enough sleep keeps you from sleeping.
If anyone figures that one out, please let me know.
I’m so tired of being tired for things that I need or want to be awake for. Work presentation? can’t sleep. Road trip? can’t sleep. Concert? can’t sleep. It’s not even always negative anxiety: That thing I’m excited about tomorrow afternoon? up.all.night.
I can self-medicate to a degree, but even that is hit or miss. I used to caffeinate myself to get through these, but have cut things like coffee since the pandemic and now only very rarely use them.
Same, the cycle is awful…
The only thing that let’s me get enough sleep on one day is having not nearly enough the day before.
Then there’s the battle of mental health good if going to bed early, waking up early, assuming i can sleep, versus having a social life.
Mindfulness meditation. It’s practice for being okay with taking time away from the things.
we are allouch. I’m reading this while chilling.
BIG chillin over here. I’ve discovered that giving myself at least one day every other week of mandatory not giving a fuck actually makes me fare more able to deal with the shit that needs to be dealt with the rest of the time.
For me it’s Sunday. Mon-Fri is work, Saturday is chores, Sunday is big chillin
Why are you on social media then?
I’ve had a weird arc. A number of months after I graduated college and started working, it finally sunk in that there wasn’t always something I needed to be studying or working on, as had been the case for like my whole academic career. I had a job that I wasn’t allowed to do outside the plant, so when I went out the gates I was done. Over the years I got promoted to positions of more and more responsibility and, even though I tried hard to keep work and home separate, at some point it was unavoidable and there was always something I needed to be doing, always emails I should be answering.
Then, after 40 years, I retired earlier this year. I had a lot to go through with selling a house and stuff, but it’s just starting to get to the point where I don’t have something I need to be doing, as had happened 40 years ago.
I think that’s a pretty normal arc. You work your butt off to get through school, then when you start working, and you have limited responsibilities, you don’t really ever work outside of work. As you become more senior, you will have more to do than can be done in the ~8 hours during the day, M-F and you start feeling like you need to work while you’re at home or whatever.
Then when you retire, every thing falls away.
I probably won’t get to retire, so, I’ll never get there. I’m glad you get to experience that again.
I just dropped from a lead position to non-lead because of this. The only work time is office time+travel for work. Outside of that work does not exist.
That’s a big quality of life change. I wasn’t super enthused about going up the chain for a long time, but then found I really enjoyed the strategic planning and organizational stuff, so went up a couple levels of management. The money was a quality of life change, too, of course.
Eh. I could make more at work but the stress isn’t worth it. I have a savings/debt paydown/investment strategy that gets me where I need to go.
It was also a company switch to one with stability, steady raises, better benefits, and more interesting work. So while it’s a significant trade off in salary, quality of life is vastly improved.
It for sure sounds like the right decision for you. And to be sure I was clear, when I eventually went up a leadership ladder, I was more motivated by the job than by the money, it’s just that the money was nice too. I was at the same company for just short of 40 years. I moved around some within the company to keep things interesting, and then realized my experience would be pretty useful for strategic leadership, and that I’d enjoy that kind of thing.
I think that makes sense. Having stability in life is going to be a different world tbh. 20-40yrs is a long time in personal development
peoplebeproblemsI wish they had something to like shut my brain off and just do the shit I need to do without the significant amount of effort it takes. I just don’t care about so many things that need to get down and I’m nervous to do half of them for no good reason.
Adderall helps me actually pay attention. And stay quiet.
But Jesus all this other shit that goes on makes everything insufferable.
At one point, I was in a couples' therapy session and I had recently been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I I realized (and said) in that session that I would never have a break again. Vacation from work? Still have cystic fibrosis to deal with.
I’m just always cutting the grass and staring at my overgrown garden.
You 100% must learn how to not give a fuck sometimes. I’ve found that alcohol helps with this.
Ah yes.
The cause of, and solution to, most of life’s problems.
TheLowestStoneA 20 year old that I worked with asked me what I did over my weekend. My response was basically a list of chores and errands.
She responded, “Nice, you were adulting hard.”
I responded, “Unfortunately, I’m just an adult.”
diptchipHobbies are important to mental health.
tetris11“I need an adult.”
“You ARE an adult.”
*proceed to get kicked in the nads*
Hang in there, it gets worse
Part of being an adult is knowing what you can ignore for a while and what you can’t. So I don’t really see a problem there.
NotyouIt’s like juggling balls. Some are rubber and you can drop and pick up when they bounce up. Some are crystal and if you drop them they will shatter. You gotta learn which ones are which.
Dropping them sounds like a surefire way for figuring out which is which.
Yeah but some of those crystals are temporally slowed down by time and only shatter after a prolonged period.
Like not brushing your teeth or ignoring that oil change.
You can pick it back up but the damage is done.
And sometimes the crystal balls really weren’t as important as you thought. Sometimes you can get by with fewer balls.
UnderpantsWeevilSometimes you can get by with fewer balls.
Explaining this to my dog
God I feel this in my core.
Especially when you own a house. It never ends.
SkullgridAt least you are empowered to make long term steps to make it better.
Source:missed out on buying a house 2 years ago, still devastated.
mfed1122I dunno. A lot of times my house (first one) feels like a gigantic golden shackle. I can’t easily move, I can’t easily leave the country, I can’t easily get jobs elsewhere, I have much more expensive obligations. The fact that I have a loan and not a lease means I can be massively in debt. There are random unexpected costs which makes it hard to budget, some of which are huge. It gives you more space, which you inevitably fill with useless garbage that just ties you down even more.
Home ownership is kinda overrated. I have wished for years now that I was back in an apartment. Am debating selling this, but it sucks that it would be such a financial loss (another thing you don’t have to worry about with apartments. If my home value goes down by 100k, im basically trapped there for life).
I think having a house is worth it if you are really sure you want to “lock in” the current settings of your life for the next 5 years, minimum. You gain a lot of freedoms with what you do with the property, but you lose a lot of freedoms everywhere else.
You make some good points, but I got all my nomadism out of my system and I’m finally in a place where I want to settle down, and also, I need to settle down because of the kid and everything. I’m also tired of having lived in like 20 houses in multiple continents.
I’ve had the opposite experience lol. Don’t have to call the landlord several times to repair the same broken dishwasher that’s been repaired 4 times before. I can just grab a free one from classifieds and install myself.
As long as the roof, foundation, and plumbing are good I’m not required to do shit.
As long as the roof, foundation, and plumbing are good
The bane of my existence. Water was not meant to move through a wooden house. God has punished me repeatedly for my hubris.
Ah the sweet musty smell of cavity rot in the morning, paired with a hint of chimney backflow.
Really hits the spot. Love sleeping with the windows open on cold nights just to stop myself from suffocating.
On the plus side, Ive made lots of friends with the neighbours with similar problems, all who recommend me their “bathroom guy”. of " chimney wizard"
I had to dig a small trench on the uphill side because water was flooding in the crawl space. The bedroom subfloor beams had rotted. Dry down there now. More worried about ventilation/radon.
chimney wizard
This is just Santa
Haha! Yeah, dry well solves that problem XD. I’ll get a new one drilled eventually but for now topping off my tank every few weeks is cheap and easy. Just can’t have long showers 😅
If you can get away with it PEX with commission fittings has been a wonderful experience.
You become aware of the futility of existence, how in another 50 years if youre lucky none of this will matter in the slightest because you’ll be dead, just as life becomes the hardest to cope with.
So anyone 25-40 and still pretending to smile - youre a fucking warrior.
I cant find the relevant SMBC.
Of course, this is different from person to person, but for me, a lot of anxiety comes from me putting it off. I found that taking care of the shit as soon as possible gives me the time to truly chill until the next wave of shit comes.
The never ending chill boulder up the hill.
Haha, exactly. Wasn’t Sysiphus’s story about finding joy in a never-ending, repetitive process? I’m wondering if I’ll ever reach that level of enlightenment.
The original story was intended as a depiction of a punishment. The spin of imagining him happy was Albert Camus’s contribution. Although it wasn’t quite about finding joy in a never-ending repetitive process per se, but more about finding meaning where there is none. The boulder process represents the individual’s repeated, doomed efforts to find meaning, and the rolling back down is the realization that despite their efforts, there was still no meaning to be had. Yet, the human cannot resist trying again, which is clearly absurd - hence why this is called “The Absurd”. The main idea is that the struggle itself towards meaning, although absurd, is enough to make someone happy, even if meaning does not exist. I would not want to conflate that sentiment with acceptance of repetitive, dull processes in real life. Nietzsche would have a lot to say about that, and not coincidentally, Nietzsche and Camus have a lot of overlapping thinking. If you like this stuff, I’d recommend reading Camus’s The Stranger, Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra, and Camus’s Myth of Sisyphus.