GET AWAY
I'm just a girl, who got in trouble. Because the world is evil, like all of you did once or twice. It just got to the Extreme because I'm special. I'm "so mf pretty, I'm a Supermodel". That why
💡: I figured it out, I'm Genius right now. Everybody is just jealous that I'm pretty and "probably a model" so they need to wreck me, beat me, break my nose and try to push me down for SEX or stealing my clothes.
✅️: but it makes no sense, they have no eyes because The Boys proved it all my life. They say hello on apps, only Dutch BTW (the ugly ones) Asian Site was #noreply. I'm ugly, the boys don't talk or Likey me at all. So, you are all BLIND & PSYCHOTIC. I'm ugly
✅️✔️. I'm just ugly, I'm scary to you. You want me DEAD, I'm Lady Gaga.. I scare you to crap with my nose. That's just it, admit it. That's the truth BECAUSE it's the only thing that makes sense from every angle. Just stop lying and admit for once that you hate me
WHY, it must be because I'm ugly.. because I'm totally nice.
This photo, that's only "good enough" because the goal was to be Artistic. But my ugly shouldn't distract, so this is a good photo. Technically just is, but I'm just basic
✔️. How I see myself? Just a basic DARK girl, just way more dark than I wanna be. I'm a Muslim, an Arabian with lots of hair. I'm hairy, I'm DARK. I'm kind of manly, I'm not girly enough. My face is wrong and ugly, I look like an old woman. Really just boring DARK "Italian mom" who really is just ugly. Nothing special
I'm not SPECIAL, I don't have those hooks. I'm just tall and "pretty, sometimes" that's not Supermodel. Like #Supermodel have those special things, the hooks. They have edges, and they are ALWAYS beautiful. Not just in "one photo out of 100"
#TIRED, sad, Boring, "didn't make it in Life" LOSER. Like an Italian mother in her 30s, but she's got no baby

... in my mind, I just try to see it how I like it more. More how I feel, because time stood still since I was 20. My life didn't go on at all, after JOHN. It just stopped.

✔️. I just deny my age and see myself in the mind how I Feel.. just Forever21

Still not a MODEL, I'm still weird. Don't care, just not a Supermodel. Why you gotta put that in my mind.
✔️. I thought at times "maybe with professional camera, it could totally be Model™" but then I tried that and it was worse, way uglier.
✔️. You know it's pretty hard for me to take photos. Every week, for the Art because I love it so much. Because, I finally feel "pretty enough" for a few days and gotta break it to take those photos. I feel so UGLY during and after, I just am tired and sweaty.
... I'm CONFRONTED with the truth in 3D every time, I do those photoshoots. I know I'm really in my 30s and life didn't work out for me at all. I can face it, I'm not a baby but it's not nice to see every single time. I still do it, because the truth is the truth - no use in denying - and I need to do Art, I still need to make it SOMEHOW. I've got self-respect. I'm not gonna settle for being a Loser, I'll make it. I'll be a Professional Photographer!
Like, I'm not gonna sit here in my room forever pretending to be still 20 and feeling "pretty enough" if that's not the TRUTH and it just means I'll end up a Loser in my 40s, still living with my mom.. delusionally thinking she's still 20 and with JOHN
■. I know that's what everyone wants me to be, they want me to end up like that. Daisy sees me that way.. even Johnny.
■. Don't CAERE what they think, I do what's needed for me to survive and I'm working hard on making it.
🗡. Daisy, SLET.. can't you see my photos? And how I am with Juley, you really think I'm a forever child like Renée. Still 19 in the mind, in love with a photo? You thought I was Psychotic still, I know you Daisy. You Judge me, and Renée as well.. but about her you might be right. I'm not her and I was NEVER PSYCHOTIC, Daisy. You should've asked me, not mama the whole deal. You don't know what I've been through, girl. You have no idea, I'm not a baby
... we're both being abused from head to toe, Daisy. It's way worse than you think. You can't even be with mama longer than an hour, WE LIVE WITH HER and no not by choice. Daisy, she won't let me move out. Oh
■. Renée became retarded from it
■. Elina tried to escape, with John in 2011. Nobody knows the story but me, I was the one clear of mind. Nobody ASKED me, so
ASK PAPA THEN, HE TOTALLY KNOW AND HE HATES MAMA LIKE YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO?! HAVE TEA WITH MARIJKE ABOUT IT BUT YOU DON'T MENTION ME AND RENÉE. OH