Mastodawn

Ricki Yasha Tarr

It's interesting to me how saying "Women are allowed to dislike men", was so often interpreted as "Women hate all men."

It's not even remotely what I said. Are there women who hate all men, I'm sure there are, but this is pretty clearly not what I was saying. A good amount of my friends are men, hell, I'm even married to one.

Misogynists have created this myth of the blue haired man hating feminist. They have to do this, because the basic idea of wanting equality is asking so very little. They want us to be demure, and beg for crumbs, while they are actively trying to take our rights away.

Yes, Women are allowed to dislike men, we don't owe them attention, we don't owe them sex. Just like men are allowed to dislike women, and not owe them attention or sex. We just want to live in a world where this doesn't end in harassment and violence. Saying no shouldn't ruin anyone's life. If you can't see beyond your realm of experience here, maybe shut up, and listen, and realize you are privileged.

Androcat Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr This notion has also been sold to women, as "radical feminism".

I am pretty sure it's a right-wing psy-op.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Aug 13, 2025

@androcat Most definitely, because it's always just distraction issues. Oh, you just don't want women to stay home with their kids, nope, nobody said this. We just want to have a choice about what we do with our lives.

Androcat Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr "Look trans people!"

Jae Aug 13, 2025

@androcat @RickiTarr It is truly astounding how "keeping women safe" has become code for excluding trans people. If it's *not* a right-wing psy-op, it'll do until the right-wing psy-op turns up

Androcat Aug 13, 2025

@considermycat
It's a classic.

That's how Baby Hitler cut his atrocity teeth also.

jeff Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr oof. where are these rants coming from? did something happen that I missed? :(

Ricki Yasha Tarr Aug 13, 2025

@jeff The comments were interesting lol

jeff Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr thats a "polite" way of putting it hahahah.

even if you hated all men. or joked about it or embellished. who tf cares? incels are snowflakes.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Aug 13, 2025

@jeff That's true, I suppose, as long as you're not infringing on their rights, you can hate whomever you'd like lol

jeff Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr I occasionally do stand up at a bar here for open mic. one bit I have is how women have trash cars and its like they've all crashed into a CVS / pharmacy and just... drove away. prob in bad taste but... not one girl was ever offended haha. its always the incels who flip tf out. its so odd

Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋

@RickiTarr Uh... I thought it was "purple haired". I guess I had better make a salon appointment...

Ricki Yasha Tarr Aug 13, 2025

@faithisleaping LOL ask for the Man Hater.

Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch)

@RickiTarr @faithisleaping Give me the Man Hater Special 💈 😹

DB Schwein Aug 13, 2025

@faithisleaping @RickiTarr

My hair is both blue and purple and I have way more male friends than female... I may have missed a memo!

Parade du Grotesque 💀Aug 13, 2025

Amen

Medea Vanamonde Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr In the good old days an Opium or Morphine Habit sucked up many of them.

RolloTreadway Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr What struck me about those replies, was how many came from men with bios saying how socialist they were, or how communist, anarchist, anti-establishment, etc.

A lot of "how dare you ignore me, The Man Leading The Left Revolution!!!"

Which is depressingly common here in fedi. Whole lot of white western non-disabled cishet men who think they're a revolutionary vanguard, and who can't abide the notion that there are people that aren't white western non-disabled cishet men who might have their own independent existence and rights and thoughts.

Mel Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr There are men I dislike but also plenty of women. Why do people see things in such binary terms?

Pistolenkind Aug 13, 2025

@missmelanieh @RickiTarr Because most people are binary. It's not about which gender is good or bad, but being able to say what you really feel. Because people have genders, and it's important to address such issues. This isn't about dividing, but rather specifying, because it's mostly men, due to gender dynamics. Humans are gendered beings, that's why. That's the nature of things. (And I'm a man, too.)

Pistolenkind Aug 13, 2025

@missmelanieh @RickiTarr

And yes, if a woman pisses me off, I'm also allowed to say so. The difference is that they usually just want to be left alone anyway. Granted.

Pistolenkind Aug 13, 2025

@missmelanieh @RickiTarr

as a man, I can also say that the problem isn't that we suck. We're not. It's that we're still taught that we're supposed to be. How often have I heard that! "A real man doesn't give up! Women don't know what they want. YOU can't let up!" and all that bullshit. The problem is called sexism. And sexism is gender-based. That's why. That's why gender is so important in this discussion.

Mel Aug 13, 2025

@Pistolenkind @RickiTarr But gender isn't binary. My sibling is gender fluid and trans individuals do not conform to standard gender ideals.

That being said I understand why some people would be taught to be certain way and that can lead to people acting the way they do. Not that I agree with making people conform.

woe2you Aug 13, 2025

@missmelanieh @RickiTarr Tribalism.

Jargoggles Aug 13, 2025

@missmelanieh @RickiTarr
Yes, this idea applies to everyone. *Nobody* is entitled to someone's time and attention (unless they decided to have kids, in which case their children are absolutely owed their attention, of course).

Similarly, houses shouldn't be on fire (unless they're owned by [my legal team* has advised me to redact this part], in which case [redacted]). When you call the fire department, they're always going to prioritize the house that's on fire. That doesn't mean they don't care about the other houses in town.

Society, in general, doesn't have a problem with the idea that it's okay to ignore every gender other than men. Instead, that's basically the default mode. Everyone else has to fight to have a say and when they do, studies have shown that even when they speak up in meetings less than men, men will report that they spoke way more than they did.

There is a wildfire that is burning down the whole neighborhood except for the obnoxiously large house on the hill. We're doing fine, we have our own private fire department whether we want it or not. We don't need you to bring us a bucket of water.

*My cats

Leendaal Aug 13, 2025

llanciawn Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr I want equity.

Sordid Amok!Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr "I Hate Men", by Bleeders - punk band from PA, with a cis male drummer, who obviously understood.
https://bleeders.bandcamp.com/track/i-hate-men

I Hate Men, by BLEEDERS

from the album Twelve Month Drip

BLEEDERS

Bob Jamieson Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr 💯 THIS!!!
Anyone who has read your posts knows that you do not hate men. If someone has made an assumption about you on the basis of their interpretation of something you wrote, without checking more of what you have written, then that's on them, not on you.

👁Pooka🫣Boo🫵Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr Very well said...

Scary Austin Aug 13, 2025

Misogyny in a nutshell.

@MaryAustinBooks @RickiTarr Weird how they want to hate us, but also want us to fuck them. That makes no god damn sense.

Sarah Peper 🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇦Aug 14, 2025

@hellomiakoda I think it does when you see sex as an expression of power for cis men. And a lot of our language around sex reflects that

@jay_peper I am thankful I'm not straight.
Straight women are proof orientation isnt a choice

Jenkelly Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr and let’s not even start on how many men hate women

Ку 🇧🇬🇪🇺

neobear_computing

@RickiTarr as a cis man married to a blue haired feminist cis woman... should I be worried about my marriage?

neobear_confused

Aethelstan Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr “though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid” —Winifred Banks from Mary Poppins

HollsHulsey Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr
💯

Why would we possibly dislike, be wary or afraid of men? I just watched a horrifying documentary about rape culture in fraternities on college campuses. Rape culture? Yes, an entire culture based on the fact that it’s accepted and even encouraged/glorified for members to rape women. We choose the bear yet again.

Basement Chippy Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr jumping to “women hate all men” also avoids the individual onus to improve, self reflect, or at least be likable and not a completely unpleasant wretch (to put it mildly) of a man.

Valerie Roney Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr I think it's part of it is the commodifying of women (and everybody, really, being treated as interchangeable goods instead of unique individuals).
Many men have been told picking up a woman is pretty much the same as picking up a new stereo, and are confounded when the stereo doesn't want to come home with them.

It's not all about you, boo. It requires empathy and awareness, sharing of your needs as well as responding to others'.

Emotional literacy is lacking.

Ricki Yasha Tarr Aug 13, 2025

@vlrny 100% seeing people as objects instead of individuals

Valerie Roney Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr
Exactly!
We had a similar discussion in my lil node of the fedi just the other day. Must be on everybody's mind these days.
https://disabled.social/@vlrny/114988944768913704

Valerie Roney (@[email protected])

Content warning: Shit I probably shouldn't toot

disabled.social

Ben Aveling Aug 13, 2025

@RickiTarr There are plenty of men who dislike women.

TiffanyNBastow Aug 14, 2025

@RickiTarr Well said. Disliking an individual or setting boundaries isn’t the same as blanket hatred toward an entire group. Equality means respecting autonomy, consent, and the right to say “no” without fear of retaliation for everyone else.

Man aging with madness Aug 14, 2025

@RickiTarr women don't need permission to hate men. Or anybody else, for that matter