Manuela Malasañaslight tangent from my ramblings in the other thread about depression and motivation to not let everything fall apart, you gotta feel it out on a case by case basis, but I've found the best way to help a person with anxiety is to be socially present but not do stuff for them, while the best way to help someone with depression is to give them space but do as much of the work for them as you can - ie, don't just say "your favorite band is in town" link the site selling tickets in your DM
additionally, speaking from my own experience with depression, in a depressive episode im much more likely to respond to friends asking if i want to do dinner if they say "do you want to get dinner at [restaurant]?" rather than "do you want to grab dinner?" because at that point no manner of cuisine seems appealing so just pick one for me i do not care
It's generally not a great idea to do stuff for a person with anxiety because then they're gonna worry if you'll be offended if they don't end up making use of whatever you did or if it means you think they can't handle life or if they'll be beholden to you. With depression not comorbid with anxiety they doooo noooot careee
Also important to note, do not do nice things for someone with depression expecting reciprocity, the reason to do nice things for someone with depression is that they are your friend and their happiness pleases you
actually that applies to everyone, it's just more bluntly apparent with people in a major depressive episode
Kim Scheinberg@Xibanya
I find Allie Brosh to have nailed the depression response perfectly with:
"The problem might not even have a solution. But you aren't necessarily looking for solutions. You're maybe just looking for someone to say "sorry about how dead your fish are" or "wow, those are super dead. I still like you, though."
Amongst my prone to depression friends (of which I am one), "sorry your fish are dead" is excellent shorthand
https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
Jer