SophieJun 29, 2025

July is #DisabilityPrideMonth

Wait, disability ... pride? Why would someone be proud to be disabled?

One of the most important aspects of disability pride for me is to counter the shame. The shame of “being different,” the shame of “needing help,” the shame of “being a burden,” the shame from the humiliation and abuse I have experienced.

Disability pride gives me the chance to counter the shame by saying, “I am disabled, and I am proud to exist and be who I am.”

#JulyIsDisabilityPrideMonth

Show threadElias MårtensonJun 30, 2025

@sophie isn't "pride" simply the opposite of the word "shame"?

Seems like a pretty obvious word to use to me?

Show threadSophieJun 30, 2025

@loke It is actually pretty common that people are initially confused by the concept of the disability pride month. And that's okay.

Abled people, because they learned that disability is just something dreadful that should be hidden at all cost and could solely be seen as a misery to be bemoaned.

Disabled people because it can take decades to even come to terms with the shame we have bottled up and the internalized idea of not being worthy of being proud of our existence.

Show threadTech SingerJul 1, 2025
@sophie @loke Speaking as a person born with a rather obvious disability, I disagree with the pride but also with the shame. There is nothing to be proud of in my disability, at least (I'm blind and more or less deaf). I wish I could eliminate it, it is an unmitigated evil. The minor advantages are completely unimportant compared to the huge and earthshaking disadvantages, troubles, and annoyances, both to myself and those around me. I don't have any interest in a pride month because, as a matter of fact, I am a burden and am very often a problem for everyone else due to the disability. I also don't see the shame, though. I did nothing to cause the burdens/humiliations/difficulties of my disability, in fact, I have done what I can to reduce the burdens and spread them out so they don't make life too miserable for other people. The humiliations are, a good nine tenths of the time, caused by the refusal of others to think. I am troubled by my basic uselessness, of course, but not ashamed of it, why should I be? Again, I would happily change it if I could and I didn't cause it. I know what it is to be ashamed and feel guilty about the many things which are my fault. This isn't one of them. I have in certain cultures, gotten the undercurrent that I should "hurry up and kill yourself", but that is not open to me for religious reasons, so such opinions are not too interesting. I was confused by the idea of a pride month but, having had it explained a few years ago, I now just disagree with it. I might as well be proud of having five toes. It just is, most regrettably, it's not something to be ashamed of or proud of, in my view. If people want to celebrate, obviously, they could be doing worse things and I'm not some sort of king. I am all in favor of celebrations for whatever reason, but don't really think disability pride is worth having or worth celebrating. @svenja
Show threadElias Mårtenson

@techsinger @sophie @svenja thank you for the insight. I'm mostly abeled, so I'm definitely not in a position to talk about what makes people feel ashamed of their disabilities, or not. I'm also not in a position to talk about the value of a pride month. The point I was trying to make was that people shouldn't feel ashamed (if they do) and the opposite of shame is pride, so using that word seems reasonable.

The word proud as in "I've managed to succeed in something, and I'm proud of it" is a different meaning. How that meaning can be applied in this context is very personal, I think?

Jul 1, 2025 at 8:21amWeb
Show threadTech SingerJul 1, 2025
@loke @sophie @svenja It's worth keeping in mind, if I may suggest it, that disability covers a huge swath of territory and that territory has grown drastically over the past few years. We who are disabled disagree, and that is hardly a bad thing, it would be worrying if we all agreed on any particular topic, and there are hundreds of different factors about disabilities and experience which lead to those disagreement, not to mention the mood and pleasure of the person thinking about whatever the topic is. Anyhow, all that is to say that disagreement on the purpose of these things is more or less guaranteed. Let me also respectfully disagree with you when you say "the opposite of shame is pride...". As I said, I disagree. The opposite of shame is not shame or, to be gramatical, the opposite of feeling shame is "not feeling shame". The opposite of being ashamed is "not being ashamed". Speaking for myself, I am not ashamed of my disability, but I don't think I can use the words "proud" or "pride" in any sense of those words. I'm just not ashamed of it. I do detest it, but you can hate something without being ashamed of it, in my view. It's just part of my life. A very bad part, but shame doesn't come into it at all.
Show threadElias MårtensonJul 1, 2025

@techsinger @sophie @svenja I'm not a native speaker of English, so perhaps my instinct toward the word pride is different.

By the dictionary definition, the opposite of shame is pride. However, the word pride probably has strong connotations towards some more than just being "not ashamed", and I think we are in agreement that that is what should be promoted.

Show threadTech SingerJul 1, 2025
@loke @sophie @svenja I agree. Also, "disability unashamed month", sounds like a bit of a mouthful :) If you've got to have a month, "disability pride", could be worse, I suppose. Disabilities month or something like that would be a mess because the automatic thing, at least in North America, would be to jump to the idea that this is just one of the many months and days for organizations who exist to collect cash and pay most of it to their management while paying the tiny bit that remains to their staff...
Show threadSophieJul 1, 2025

@techsinger @loke @svenja Yes, the lived realities of disabled people and disabilities are so different, agreeing on everything is neither desirable nor possible.

Note, however, that I never said I am proud of my disabilities. I hate that I am still trembling from my panic attack yesterday, I hate that my chronic fatigue makes it impossible to do so many things I did in the past or want to try out. But with by autism it's much more complicated, it is also who I am, how I think, how I feel.

Show threadSophieJul 1, 2025

@techsinger @loke @svenja Also, my post was meant as one initial post of many I want to do during the pride month.

Like with queer pride, maybe the most important aspect is to advocate for disability rights and fight against ableism.

Show threadStrfnurfnJul 2, 2025

@loke Yes, it was an interesting mental exercise, trying to explain the nuances to a non-native English student! It's so contextual. Taking pride in your privilege is different from taking pride in your work - it can be vice or virtue.

When I first encountered Gay Pride, I was a little confused also. After all, White Pride celebration would be awful! But Pride for marginalized folk, to me, is about defying the shame society wants to impose - pride in the sense of dignity, not bragging.