Typical physicist, ignoring enthalpy of phase changes. Starting from 1C defrosted makes a huge difference from 0C as the melting takes up a ton more energy/slaps. Their underslapped chicken would give you salmonella
Also completely neglecting that not all the energy in a slap will be transferred to thermal energy in the chicken.
Assume a spherical chicken…
tbf modern commercial chickens are basically spherical, the poor bastards