"I got glitter bombed so many times during my sanctioned gang-extractions and data-extortions, you honor, that I developed an allergy to shiny things, and experience PTSD whenever mirror balls spin. I can't dance like no one's watching anymore. Please sentence this 15-year-old violent antifa agent as an international war criminal to ensure Hello Kitty and RuPaul can never hurt me, at the job where I just follow orders, again."