DurianI want a boyfriend, but I feel like I don't deserve to have one, and I keep alternating between those two thoughts which is making me feel confused. Is this normal?
Snot FlickermanI’d find it embarrassing because I’m gross.
It sounds like you’re suffering from depressive issues. Everyone deserves love and nearly everyone is sexually attractive to at least someone. With roughly 4 billion potential mates (give or take a few hundred million), you have what is honestly near infinite possibilities for finding someone who loves you for who you are.
However, it might help to get help for the depression first. Anyway, everyone deserves love and to be desired. That includes you.
You have been single for ten years, it’s time to free yourself and at least try to find someone. As someone else who is single and also struggles with depression and self-image issues, I wish you all the best.
It’s not depression it’s more like… “am I a good or a bad person” “I’m bad” “okay maybe I’m good” “no, I’m bad” “am I mature enough to handle this I’m immature” “no I’m mature” “no I’m immature I can’t handle a relationship” stuff like that in rapid succession
OberonSwansonIf you can question if you’re bad or good, then you’re likely good. A bad person wouldn’t even ask the question.
With that said it sounds like you likely have Major Depressive Disorder along with feelings of some guilt over the partner you’ve lost. My suggestion as a former psychiatrist, is you speak to your general physician, request a referral to see a therapist asap.
In the meantime a good doctor will suggest you start a medication like Prozac (but it can take 6 months to take effect and there’s alternatives like Celexa, Zoloft, Cymbalta). And all I can suggest try getting outside more and get some vitamin B, even if it means sitting in your backyard and reading a book for 5 minutes.
Also, the next time these thoughts come up, try practicing controlling your breathing. These thoughts are common now, so you need to try reasoning with that part of yourself, assert yourself over your negative thoughts and calmly remind yourself; you are in control. You can still make changes and it’s never too late for a second or even third chance.
BrainsplooshCould it be vitamin D from the sun?
Both vitamin B & D are linked with depression when levels are low, but my phone must’ve assumed I only meant B and omitted the D. -__-’
But yes, a few minutes of sun each day can help a lot. Otherwise vitamins are a good way to supplement the two.