Hey, cis dudes. I need you to show up as allies at trans #pride events this month. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Don’t expect to win awards for it. Don’t hit on people. Don’t make it about you. Just swell our numbers.
And stand between us and the cops and transphobes, please.
#boost welcome.
@shalien I’m feeling unusually generous, so I’ll answer this.
First, no. “Ally” is actually just something we let ya’ll think is real, there are accomplices, who have placed their skin in the game, and everyone else.
Second, accomplices understand that the community will always view them with suspicion, and they step the fuck up anyway, because it’s the right thing to do.
Third, don’t be a #ReplyGuy, it’s a bad look for you. It’s why my tone in this reply is so acerbic.
Fourth, asking marginalized people to explain this shit is a way of pushing labor on to us. I’m bothering since this post got big and maybe someone else will see this exchange and also learn something.
Finally, when we literally ask for help/involvement/volunteers, take it both seriously and literally. To wit, go read this, please: https://chaosfem.tw/@Willow/113856069628799346
Lift your eye from the palantir - you will not defeat Sauron. #ThingsYouCantUnsay Do not speak to me of how you can do nothing to turn the ship of state. I care nothing for your impotency. You abdicate your responsibility by widening your gaze. Who are you to speak to me of the horrors of national policy? A legislator? No? Then do not clothe yourself in the false agency of your inability to change that which is entirely beyond your reach. But you can make sure bigots at the grocery store stay quiet in the dairy aisle. You can rebuke the old men who insult young fathers for caring for their children. You can ask trans women in the women’s bathroom where they got their nail polish. You can invite trans men on your guys-only fishing trip. You can watch a mother’s kids for her while she goes back into the school to find a lost jacket instead of criticizing her parenting. You can accept that everyone whose pronoun is the singular “they” already knows all your petty objections to it and just… use “they” for them. You can assume everyone you meet has a right to live where they live. You can make it weird when people try to use “gay” as an insult. You can listen to kids when they want to tell you about their niche special interest. You can tell men you think it’s gross when they touch waitresses. You can make the experience of being in your presence more friendly and less hostile to the kinds of people being oppressed by the state. THAT is what is within your reach. THAT is your responsibility. And I expect you to see to it that it gets done, and that you remind others of THEIR responsibilities.
Vivian, Venus Pirate 🏳️‍⚧️
Shalien