Thursday I met another trans friend for coffee and catching up when a customer at the shop did a transphobia, angrily yelling slurs at us.
The staff was quick on it, kicking him out, banning him, sharing security camera footage of him with the other employees to make sure he didn’t return on a different shift, and apologizing. Thank you, staff.
Another customer got up to stand near us in case things got worse. Thank you, random dude.
This is how you ally. With actions. Thank you, allies.
Transphobe spent the next 5 minutes leering at us through the windows, it was gross. We were both rattled and left after he finally wandered off, clutching our personal safety devices.
One positive note is I mentioned to my friend “And in pride month, too. He’s got 11 months of the year to pull that crap, but not in June!”
And a lady wearing a smart button up shirt and slacks in another corner of the shop heard me and started laughing.
So I was about to spread a little joy in dark times.
@bumpus If he spent that much time leering at you, transphobe needs to come to terms with his own feelings.
But that shouldn't have anything to do with you. I'm so sorry you and your friend went through that.
@Soozcat @bumpus that’s usually why they are so angry. They feel a certain way when they see trans women, but that goes against their church “morals”. They know sky daddy is watching and he saw them get aroused so they have to make a big denial display.
Edited to add I suspect this is why the government goes so hard to hurt trans women while basically ignoring the fact that trans men exist.
Nobody’s gatekeeping testosterone, but God forbid someone in perimenopause wants some estrogen cream before their period has been gone for 12 months. It’s easier for me to get Dilaudid than estrogen cream if that tells you how ridiculous they are about trans women. (I am cis and I had to fight two doctors for it & it INSTANTLY fixed the problems I wanted it for-two applications and 6 months of relentless razor blade pain vanished for good. I think they were keeping it from me because someone thought I was trying to trans kids. I wear a respirator mask in public so obviously I am a groomer libtard.)
@bumpus
Dang Nora, I'm so sorry that happened to you and your friend but wow...
*slow hand clap*
The actions of the staff.
So awesome.
@WrenArcher @bumpus Damn. I was not expecting the story to end the way it did.
I hope you tipped the 💩 out of the staff, or do on your next visit. 😉
And yeah, I hate that people feel it's ok to spout their bigotry publicly these days instead of just mumbling bullshit under their breath like they used to. At least then they knew they were being ass-holes.
@bumpus boost the coffee shop!
Positive actions deserve monetary reinforcement :)
@bumpus
I used to run a bar. Shunning the transphobe (asshole, bigot, fascist, racist, etc.) is the appropriate response.
Good on that staff, and good on the management for setting policy that encourages that appropriate response.
Without explicit support from management, employees can feel they are taking a risk of losing their job for banning a customer.
May there be fewer customers doing a transphobia in our futures, but may there be an equal number of appropriate responses like this!
So glad that your main focus is on the support you received and not the deranged troll.
As a late diagnosed autistic ADHDer, I find a lot of parallels between us all, about “coming out” and living authentically. And of course some people are having to deal with all of it at the same time.
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