I love using a paper shredder. I’m addicted to watching it work. Sometimes I don’t even shred documents that are confidential. For fun, I’ll just print out things just so I can put it through the shredder and look at it. I’ve signed up to hundreds of credit cards, only to cancel them immediately, just so I can shred them, watching the plastic splinter as it goes through the jaws of the shredder.

In my next life, I want to wake up as a shredder so I can enjoy eating paper and plastic and ink. Nothing is better than watching a shredder work.