I don’t even know anymore - sh.itjust.works

Between my PTSD and my bipolar, I don’t know what the hell is going on. I recently started taking new medication for bipolar. I seem to get easily attached and have abandonment issues, to the point where I get sad and assume my attachment (or GF right now) doesn’t love me anymore because they’re hanging out with their friends. I know they still love me, and I know they won’t leave me, but some part of me thinks they will because that’s how I’ve been “abandoned” and later cheated on. I can go from thinking someone’s absolutely great and loving them to thinking they hate me and want me to suffer. But then I try to regulate myself and convince myself they don’t. I’m working on it. I’m talking to a psychiatrist. I don’t know. I was suspected to have BPD due to having certain “personas” I would have, fear of abandonment, etc. but I don’t know if I do and haven’t been diagnosed with it. I used to hate that and would be in denial because I thought all BPD patients were narcissistic or abusers. I know better now.