Mastodawn

oh? babe? my cock it's too fat to fit inside you? sorry 😔

[turns towards the camera with a smile]

But that's no problem! Because I'll just use WinRAR®, which is Windows 11™ and Windows 10™ compatible; available in over 40 languages; compatible with several operating systems (OS), and it is the only compression software that can work with Unicode!

[I pull out the WinRAR® Archive Messenger Bag made in collaboration with tern® from under the bed and hold it in clear view of the camera]

WinRAR® is a powerful compression tool with many integrated additional functions to help you organize your compressed archives.

[the woman I was sleeping with looks unamused, but not even surprised. this is clearly not the first time I've done this]

WinRAR® puts you ahead of the crowd when it comes to compression. By consistently creating smaller archives, WinRAR® is often faster than the competition. This will save you disk space, transmission costs AND valuable working time as well.

[I look at my wife, camera shot changes to her POV]

And hey, you don't want to transmit anything in bedroom now, do you?

[I stand up from the side of the bed and walk slowly away, as if I'm coming towards the camera, but this shot just keeps zooming out, steadily revealing that this bed is at the end of a long hallway in an architectural nightmare. my cock and balls are hanging freely because I never put my pants back on. The WinRAR® Archive Messenger Bag made in collaboration with tern® is shown as a practical device as I wear it over my shoulder.]

WinRAR® supports all popular compression formats: RAR, ZIP, CAB, ARJ, LZH, TAR, GZip, UUE, ISO, BZIP2, Z and 7-Zip.

Here, allow me to me demonstrate the RAR format:

[i stop walking, for a brief moment. unequip the WinRAR® Archive Messenger Bag made in collaboration with tern® and place it on a conveniently crotch-height coffee table. I open it, and place my dick and balls inside it]

WinRAR® is ideal for multimedia files. WinRAR® automatically recognizes and selects the best compression method. The special compression algorithm compresses multimedia files, executables and object libraries particularly well. But did you know, it is also highly efficient at cock and balls? Me neither, at least not until recently!

[the shot pans down to me fucking the WinRAR® Archive Messenger Bag made in collaboration with tern®]

I just came!

[I pull out, showing how effective the compression algorithm has been. out comes a micropenis]

WinRAR® is a trial product, meaning you have the chance to thoroughly test it. 😉 The program can be used absolutely free of charge for 40 days! But I only need it for five minutes to satisfy my wife.

[I keep waking towards the end of the hallway again, and the camera slowly revolves around me, showing internet sex pop ups on the walls as I read the next paragraph]

WinRAR® is also ideal if you are sending data through the web. Its AES 256-bit encryption and its authenticated signature technology will give you the peace of mind you have been looking for. This means it is practical not only in close-quarters duel situations like this, but also for long distance relationships! Talk about distance being homophobic; but WinRAR® isn't!

[on the back of my shirt, a fairly large polycule chart is shown. on it, a disconnected Yaseen node is the largest node taking up the most space]

WinRAR® is also ideal for polycules. That's because WinRAR® allows you to split archives into separate volumes easily, making it possible to share them with several partners at a time.

[the camera cuts to my face again]

But tonight, let's stick to the basics and just treat this wife like a goddess, shall we? 😉

[the other view returns, I now approach the end of a room where another bed is situated. Actually, this is the same bed as before, my wife still sitting there scrolling fedi now. She is smiling, probably because she is reading this post, and came across this part: I love you, wifey ❤️]

Ready, m'lady?

[she looks up from her phone, ears perk up. she sees it's me. she immediately is overjoyed and pulls off the blanket, revealing her naked body with unrealistic and harmful standards for how a woman should look. she's stunningly hot, but not to lesbians. her pussy is so, so, incredibly wet, from the ad read]

[I get onto the bed, missionary style. my cock and balls fit in her now. she cums . I cum. we both lay there, breathing softly. we wrap each other in a warm embrace, and we fall asleep. I wet the bed, because my bladder is compressed too. shot fades to black, a narrator takes over for the tagline]

Don't be a Linux user. You won't get laid. Upgrade to Windows 11™ today, and try out a 40 day free trial of WinRAR®.

Making sure you're not a bot!