Cactuar JoeOo, he's full of cat milk :/ #Monsterdon
This is like, Goosebumps Poltergeist :D #Monsterdon
Demon babies! They're so cute. #Monsterdon
Ha ha ha, I love the clay worms that's great :D #Monsterdon
"Hello, this is Satan Services, do you have time to answer a survey about the haunting experience you've had so far this evening?" #Monsterdon
"Demons!? What kind!"
Grape, lemon-lime, and orange demons, of course. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT KIND, WHAT AM I A ZOOLOGIST? #Monsterdon
"We went to sunday school!"
Great, we can subject the demons to an hourlong tirade about how the whole camel-through-the-eye-of-the-needle is just a metaphor. #Monsterdon
"Oh they need two sacrifices? Cool, we'll just go wait inside to have our throats slit." #Monsterdon
Those are some cut-rate biblical rites. Cut-rites? #Monsterdon
Welp, that's one. #Monsterdon
So imps are basically Goombas? #Monsterdon
"Read anything!"
Okay, well, there's this bit from Leviticus about not eating grasshoppers, that'll do. #Monsterdon
Oh, Holy Hand Grenade. Neat #Monsterdon
"It's gone! The last half hour of the film is nothin' but smooooth sailing!" #Monsterdon
C'mon Al, they're just demons in human flesh. #Monsterdon
Jump forward ten years and Terry's a priest. #Monsterdon
Oh, ketchup demons. Rude. #Monsterdon
Terry's got those rat teeth. #Monsterdon
Cheap '80s latticework will stop them! #Monsterdon
Man, the drywall repairs alone are gonna be *ruinous* #Monsterdon
I always knew cheap modern suburban construction was gonna be the end of all light and goodness in the world. :/ #Monsterdon
Satan still kinda looks larval to me. #Monsterdon
See, this demon just looks confused. #Monsterdon
God's like, hey jerk, remember those moths you were trying to kill? #Monsterdon
SATAN HATES D-CELL BATTERIES #Monsterdon
Again, demon looks more confused than anything else. #Monsterdon
GO PLAY OUTSIDE, KID #Monsterdon
I desperately need a gif of the kid being thrown out the front door :D #Monsterdon
Hm. Gonna be a helluva call to homeowner's insurance. #Monsterdon
WAIT THE DOG IS ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK? #Monsterdon
Does the dog die? Well, yes and no. #Monsterdon
Neighbors across the street like, those damn Johnsons across the street summoning Satan again :/ #Monsterdon
And now, a soft synth ending theme <3 #Monsterdon
Music to sail a PSX RPG ship to. #Monsterdon
Yeah, that one was up there with Chopping Mall, I enjoyed that. ^^ #Monsterdon
The Gate: It's Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead but with fewer demons <3 #Monsterdon
...I have a theory about this movie. Check this out:
There weren't actually any demons in The Gate.
Stay with me here, I think I can prove it.
So the movie starts with a lightning bolt striking a tree, which falls over. The hole the tree leaves is a gateway to hell, right?
Except it isn't, not at first.
First, the kids find some geodes. Remember those? The kids busily crack them open and wa-hey, they sparkle as you open them.
The spooky shit doesn't start happening until the kids OPEN the geodes and start imagining things. #Monsterdon
What if the lightning strike created some kind of weirdass Belief Energy contained in those geodes? Something that reacts to what you believe?
You notice the first real Monster monsters in the movie are the things kids fear the most -- their parents, angry. Before that, it's not really even Evil shit -- Terry's mom didn't turn into a monster, she just vanished, leaving behind not TERRY's fear, but *Glen's.*
Glen, who was up in the room with the geode. #Monsterdon
I think the whole two-day affair eventually centered around Satanic invasion because that's what metal-head Terry had on his mind for the whole time. And then, as he told other people about it, a narrative coalesced and it became a *social* belief.
That's why the Bible worked and the Rites of 80's Nu Metal failed -- only Terry thought the band's rites would work, but *everyone else* was a white kid who got dragged to Sunday School. #Monsterdon
Also there's the whole bit with the Third And Final Return Of The Pit -- the zombie busts through the wall JUST AS THE KIDS ARE MANHANDLING THE GEODE ONE LAST TIME
Glen even POINTS IT OUT to Al! #Monsterdon
Anyway, here's my one big unanswered question.
The Bros show up just before the big final pit opening scene.
Were those REALLY The Bros? Or were those the twins' manifested belief that The Bros were coming and should be there right about now? Did they get in the car, drive down the road and have the Bros turn into monsters as teenage hormones and fears clashed? Or did they just vanish as the car left the geode's AoE? #Monsterdon
Anyway. This has been Shower Thoughts with CJ™. Have a nice night :3 #Monsterdon