@Iodine953

{Hugs} I handled my grief by hiking nearly every day, the outdoors can be healing. Wishing you peace.

@Iodine953

I'm sorry for your loss.

YMMV, and it depends on what your instincts are, but here's the advice I can offer.

One day at a time. And don't assume any day will be like the one before.

Go ahead and let yourself feel whatever you're feeling, whether that be loss or anger or nostalgia. Or even happiness -- you aren't betraying your loved one's memory if you let yourself enjoy something for a while.

You don't have to cling to your grief. It will return on its own, in time. That might be after a minute or an hour. It's natural for the average span to become longer, but I wouldn't say there's ever a point when you can say, "Okay, I'm totally over grief, I'll never feel grief for this again."

Loss impacts you in ways other than just emotionally. I hadn't spoken to my father for more than "Hi", "I'll get your mother", "Thanks" in decades, and I didn't feel sad, so I couldn't figure out at first why I was crying. But my wife pointed out his death still left a hole in my "these things have always been" concept of the world.

It's okay to have a slip of the tongue. It's even okay to forget temporarily. See something they'd like and think about getting it for them? You haven't really forgotten that they're dead, but if you're in the habit of thinking about someone in a certain context, likely your habit will continue to trigger as if they were still alive for a while. It's okay.

I could go on in this vein, but I hope you get the idea. It's messy and unpredictable and can hurt a lot, but it does get better over time.

Also, if your thoughts are at all inclined to turn self-critical or negative, I encourage you to follow the latest kate. I personally like her mailing list -- she sends out one letter every weekday, with three encouraging illustrations/messages in it. (Yes it's via FB, no you don't need to have an FB account to sign up.)