How long was your longest grieving period after a breakup?
How long was your longest grieving period after a breakup?
I got divorced from a 10+ year relationship in my late 20s, and then had a nasty, bad breakup from my first relationship after at 30. I had a small group of friends that stuck around, but lost many in the process of each breakup.
I never really kept in touch with people from highschool and earlier, though, so I can’t comment on them
Things do get better. At 35 I’m now in a better relationship than I ever had before. I have new friends and new circles. A new chapter in my life was started, and things are better than they ever have been before.
I don’t know if this will work for you, maybe it doesn’t work out sometimes. But guys can, and do, recover from it.
On average it takes 18 months to grieve a loss. Divorces are no exception.
I’ve gone through 1 divorce and some long term relationship breakups, pretty close to when loved ones die.
Eventually it’s replaced by new automated defenses and behaviors. Hopefully not too unhealthy.
I think I still have some grief from all of them. I don’t see it as a bad thing though, just a measure of how much love I’ve had in my life. On a practical level, I think it can help you to see what you’ve got with the person you’re with when you can remember what it is to lose it.
I think I see grief as an aspect of love tbh. It’s painful but sweet and beautiful all the same.
About a year. It was a really toxic relationship. It started when I was 20 and my ex was about 26. I was enamored of them and they took advantage of this to reel me in, then manipulate me.
Warning: mildly entertaining breakup story follows.
We actually split up because we were fighting about living together. They had never moved out of their parent’s place so, at almost 30, had no experience with housing. They wanted to find an upscale house being let for about the price of a 1 bedroom apartment. Seriously, I’m not exaggerating. After three months of looking with no housing miracles in sight, I tried to impress upon them that what they wanted wasn’t going to happen. They got very upset. When I asked them to come over so we could discuss, they did - and broke it off.
20 years later, I can recognize what a massive favor they did for me. To be fair, I was also crazier than a sack of cats, but who in their early twenties isn’t?
Such is life.
I have learned that i really don’t need “the love of my life” to have a healthy and active life. But that also means i won’t settle easily. Any future parter will have a hard time proving why i need them :)