Mastodawn

Ricki Yasha Tarr Apr 19, 2025

There are two versions of "too much".

1. We are clingy, because we put our worth into whether other people like us and find us attractive, so we hold too tight, and smother people.

2. A person doesn't actually like you or want you to stand out, outside of them, so they try to stamp out your personality, by telling you, you're "too much".

And when you grow up in an unhealthy environment, it can be really hard to tell these apart, because you've probably been through both.

Show thread

Ricki Yasha Tarr Apr 19, 2025

I have this friend who is really pretty and outgoing, and she married a narcissist. They would go out, and she'd have a couple of drinks and talk with people and have a great time. When she got home her husband would tell her she was sloppy drunk, and annoying everyone. She didn't feel like she was, but she would go text people that she was sorry, and they would tell her she was totally fine, and didn't seem drunk at all. He would always tell her she was being too much. Luckily, they are no longer married.

Show thread

Bob Jamieson

@RickiTarr Glad to hear that they are no longer together. From what you wrote he was not just a narcissist but an abuser. Abusive partners break down their partners emotionally and mentally in order to control them. Sometimes it can end in rape or even murder.
If you want to depress yourself look for youtube videos by Lundy Bancroft a psychiatrist who works with abusive men trying to understand and help them.
#DomesticAbuse #MentalAbuse