Porn I’m afraid. Starting as a way to combat boredom and loneliness and anxiety as a preteen has turned in to a fifteen year long struggle and descent in to various medications and treatments that only impede my ability to develop healthy intimate relationships. Nofap, yorubrainonporn, abstaining, none of it has been effective for more than three weeks of it. Even being a pen tester when the compulsivity hits, it’s me versus my skills. And it’s always a losing demoralizing battle.