I made a breakthrough 20 years ago that feels similar in some ways but different in others. I was raised as a christian, but after years of self-reflection and internal struggle I realized that I was agnostic and ultimately an agnostic atheist. That transition was hard and scary. I didn’t want to change what I believed, but my old beliefs left me feeling confused and inadequate and didn’t square with my lived experience. This breakthrough is similar in that rejecting the gender binary helps me understand myself and my place in the world, even if that’s different from how I was raised or different from how many people in our society think about gender and gender expression. What’s different this time is that it doesn’t feel hard or scary, at least not internally. It feels good and exciting to reject the gender binary. It might be harder or scarier to put it out into the world but internally it’s a breath of fresh air. It’s like taking off a jacket that was two sizes too small.

@boringcyclist Congratulations!

@boringcyclist The book, "Refusing to be a Man" by John Stoltenberg has one of the best titles I've ever read. Sometimes I think my not wanting to be a heterosexual is not because I am sometimes attracted to women and don't want to be (I do!), it is because of the "code" you have to follow in order to be a heterosexual male. It's just misogynistic trash and I refuse (!) to go along with it.

@boringcyclist Good for you. Always be yourself and resist these social constructs. They exist primarily to control people.