I decided to address my lifelong PTSD and started taking antianxiety meds. It’s been a huge change and has really opened my eyes to how much trauma I have experienced. Hopefully the second half of my life can be more fulfilling.

Paid down all high-cost debt. Only remaining debt is my mortgage which is dirt cheap.

Starting HRT

Started back on therapy. Trying to build something from the ground up. Hope to be able to afford some teeth in 2025.

Yesterday, I exited the elevator early, to save the other passengers from the fart I was about to release from captivity.

Ha! The bartender just asked if I was laughing at her

Got the boiler running in a church without heat (not my job). Handed out a few gift cards for Subway to panhandlers and gave a sleeping bag to a guy who looked like he could use it.

My body broke down. I’ve bene pishing myself at work for years and my body just shut down.

I had no medical issue. Went through tests and scans. Been probed more than I could imagine. Nothing wrong. It was the stress level that rose so hard that my mind said ‘nope’. So technically a burnout without the mental burden.

So I stayed at home for a week and declined my doctor’s advice to stay at hope for a few months and take therapy. I went back to work with all the figures I could gather. Asked for a meeting with my manager and the CEO and played out my results. I was generally overachieving by 400%.

They agreed to let me decide where to cut in ly work load so I kept everything that fulfills me or the stuff that I’m really good at. I’m still carrying a heavier load than my colleagues but I love my job.

That didn’t help with the fact that I couldn’t walk for 2 minutes. I couldn’t take one flight of stairs. So I started going to the gym. I was a bit overweight but only about 8 kilos so nothing really worrying. In a few months that fat was turned into muscle. I go to the gym about three tiles a week and I feel revived. Generally excersizing improves my mood.

Lastly I started takingly ADD meds again but with weekly doctor visits in the first months to get the meds and dosage just right. Not to much, just a hand on my back that gives a little push instead of the heavy dose that draged le throigh ly daus when I was younger. That also had a big influence on my family as I’m more present at home now. I can carry a part the mental load that my wife used to pull by herself and I seel to be more considerate to everyone at home. I’m in sync with their schedules now.

So, in 2024 I crashed and burned and rose as a Fenix.

Finally removed my ex BF from my house 2 and a half years after we broke up and I first asked him to move out. My house is cleaner, I’m less stressed, and I’m sleeping better.

For myself: I joined social media at the start of this year and I’m really enjoying it, and it looks like people are enjoying my art too, so that’s a plus! 😃

For others: I helped save someone’s life back in April, I won’t go into too much detail because I know some people are squeamish, but it involved them getting into an accident, me trying my best to stop a deep open wound from bleeding and then getting them to the hospital. They’re doing okay now!

I survived.