Mastodon should ask you to pick a "moderator" not an "instance".
The latter is obscure technical detail. The former is about people, and power, and explainable to anyone.
"You pick which person or organisation you want to decide who and what is banned. You can change it later."
@moh_kohn I agree with the spirit of this, but an instance represents more than just moderation. On joinmastodon.org at least, seems like "server" is the term they're going with, rather than instance.
"Server" does seem too technical. If I'm a new user, why would I want to "pick another server" (vs. joining mastodon.social)? OTOH, "pick another moderator" also seems confusing, e.g. can't I just join mastodon.social and pick a different moderator there? Is a moderator a person or a place?
From dealing with people on FediTips, I don't think it's going to get any easier than calling it a "server".
"Community" was used for a while, but people assumed it meant something like a forum, and thought they had to join lots of servers to talk on lots of topics. It didn't get across the interconnected nature of the network.
"Instance" was used before that, but people very rarely use that word to mean computer stuff unless they're programmers.
"Server" is the most honest way of describing what their account is connected to, and makes understanding lots of other things they deal with on here clearer.
If all you see of a server is moderation then asking people to pick a moderator would make sense, but that's not all that people see.
For example I often have to help people with technical hitches on their server, because the server's translation system or media storage is broken etc. How can I explain that situation to them if they think they've only chosen a moderator?
Also, how are server admins meant to raise money to keep going if people think all they do is ban people? Knowing that they run the whole infrastructure is a big part of why they get donations. It would be devaluing their work to hide it.
I'd say "server" is the least-worst option. I totally get the idea of avoiding tech terms, but at some point you do need to explain at least certain concepts.
IMHO it's worth educating people about being on servers, because once they grasp the concept it explains the point of being on here as opposed to a centralised network:
https://fedi.tips/why-is-the-fediverse-on-so-many-separate-servers
Alistair Davidson
Peter Lutz
fallenleaves
FediThing 
