Mastodon should ask you to pick a "moderator" not an "instance".
The latter is obscure technical detail. The former is about people, and power, and explainable to anyone.
"You pick which person or organisation you want to decide who and what is banned. You can change it later."
@moh_kohn This is, to a large extent, what you get if you go to a smaller, more focused instance. If you get on a server dedicated to a particular group or worldview or interest, one dedicated to safeguarding the interests and safety of the people in that particular group, you're likely to get an experience close to what you're looking for.
In other words, what you're asking for is, for the most part, already there. You just have to wander away from the larger instances to find it.
Alistair Davidson
Nicola Elle 🏳️⚧️