This is not meant as arrogant as it's going to sound, so bear with me.
One of the silver linings of this election result is that I've seen so many good people, online and IRL, wising up about right-wing relationship manipulation.
And just giving themselves permission to divorce, go no-contact, protect their children, stop trying to save everybody, and re-focus on what they personally need -- sometimes for the first time.
It's beautiful. Warms my survivor heart.
Also, if what is supposed to be a celebration feels like a dreadful obligation, and you have the ability to choose, just...don't go.
Stay home. Read a book. Thanksgiving is literally just a day. It means nothing that we don't say it means. Same with Christmas.
The first one you skip (or do on your own) might make you feel some grief. The second one is easier, or more fun, because you can either make it truly your own or just let it go.
They're your days, days in your life. You don't have to spend them fielding bullshit. People will get over it if you make them have to.
I've found from personal experience, that it's far easier to grieve something that is no longer happening...
...than it is to grieve something that's become a total abomination of what it's supposed to mean.
I hereby give anyone facing an abuser tomorrow permission to lie.
Tell them you're sick to your stomach. That you just can't go and spoil everyone's good time with it.
If you're under psychological duress, and fearing for your well-being, then different ethical frameworks apply. Go on, I'll be your sin-eater, happy to help.
Then just...rest. It's been a hell of a few weeks.
If they've got you over a literal barrel, like with living situation or finances, and you have to attend some chaotic republican gloat-fest, then I feel for you. Fucking been there done that.
Please escape to the loo whenever you can, and post here. I'll try to share some cat pix and hugs.
Mystery Babylon 
chicating