🃏JokerUrinals should not exist.
parpolCount the number of tiles in front of you, solve some math problems in your head, think about what to do next saturda- shit, some guy just moved next to me. Is he looking? Maybe I should pull out my phone and check lemmy. …but then people will think I’m recording them piss, and the fact that I’m still not pissing will further justify their suspicions. Maybe I should just pretend to have a small coughing fit and that’s why I can’t pee. But then people will start looking, and maybe even worry I’ll spray them accidentally. Oh the guy finished peeing. I’ll just wait until he leaves the room then. Oh another guy just entered. Well, he doesn’t know anything so I’ll just pretend I finished peeing and hold it in for the rest of the day.
Look at the tiles and imagine the grout lines are an infinite grid of 1 ohm resistors. I wonder what the resistance is between two points a knight’s move apart…dammit I’ve been standing here for hours again
This guy ohm’s
I always look at the smallest distinct shape at the wall in front of me (spots mostly do the trick) and start imagine shapes in it, like looking at the clouds. The world around me then just zoom out and everything turns liquid. Don’t even need drugs 😄 Though a couple of beers help immensly
devfuuuThe only solution that realiably has worked for years for me is to ignore the standing pee spots and just go the the pooper cabin and pee there. Done. Works every time. Sometimes it gets weird waiting for one to open when the standing per spot is available but the alternative is worse.
Do people really struggle this much to urinate? How insecure can you be to not be able perform a basic bodily function like this? I had no idea. Though, I do question why one of these two isn’t following basic urinal etiquette.
GooseEveryone look at this guy. He can piss under extreme pressure. We should all aspire to be him
Yes, the extreme pressure of… using a public restroom. 🙄
Just because you don’t have any issues doesn’t mean other people don’t. I, myself, have a lot of anxiety when it comes to using urinals and have trouble sometimes. Why? No idea. Having to piss doesn’t override the anxiety, so you just end up feeling miserable.
Yeah, I just didn’t realize it was so common. Sorry, that sucks. Are you an otherwise confident and secure person?
[deleted] in lemmyYes, other than pissing I’m pretty confident.
No,. I have no idea why peeing in private is important to my lizard brain. It wasn’t when I was a kid.
It’s okay. Sorry I got snippy back at you. Funny enough, most of the time I feel as if I am very confident and secure. Naturally as people do I have my times where that slips, but I’d say 80% of the time I’m cool as a cucumber
No worries, I think a lot of people thought I was being an ass instead of honestly just having never thought about it. I wonder if it has something to do with growing up in a big family and playing sports and stuff. Like, I think I just became to desensitized to it. If I needed privacy to pee, I would probably wouldn’t have peed through all of high school and college lol.
under…pressure…?
vanilla ice riff
You mean Queen. Vanilla Ice simply stole “sampled” the riff.
It’s not a choice. It’s like some primal instinct or something.
I’ve heard jokes about it, but I didn’t think it was a widespread thing. Doesn’t the need to pee outweigh the fear of… well. Whatever the fear is I guess? What exactly is the fear?
I feel no fear or anxiety at all at first. It just doesn’t come out if someone is next to me. The fear and anxiety comes afterwards when you’ve started taking a little bit too long. I think a lot also has to do with reduced bladder pressure as you get older or get chronic back issues.
Got it. Well, I’m sure it doesn’t help, but I don’t think anyone notices if someone is or isn’t making pee noise. I think that’s kind of the point of the comic, i.e., that never happens because no one is timing your piss cycle (I hope!).
ChozoFor me, I just don't like having my genitals out when other people are around. It's not about whether they're looking or not, it just feels uncomfortable being exposed. Same reason I don't use public showers at gyms and such.
Oh everyone’s looking, bro!
Doesn’t the need to pee outweigh the fear of… well. Whatever the fear is I guess? What exactly is the fear?
Idk man, ask my subconscious
Dear Can’s Subconscious,
Sorry I haven’t written to you lately. I’ve been so busy, but that’s no excuse. I hope you are well.
I was writing to ask a question: y u no pee? U scare? Y?
Sincerely,
WoahWoah
Oh man, if you could actually get through I’d have way more questions to ask.
Also never had an issue with urinals. I can also talk to others while peeing. But I’m also used to be nude at the sauna. If there’s sufficient urinals available I keep at least one free but if someone stands next to me, I don’t care.
Questioning is also not allowed.
Lemmy is a silly place.
It’s proving to be Reddit without the random intellectuals.
Dharma Curious (he/him)stopwatch
Try it at home, too. It takes 21 seconds to pee. It’s freakishly accurate throughout the animal Kingdom. My theory on shy bladder is that our brains know how long it takes, so when we take a while to start, everything compiles and we get nervouser and nervouser as we approach that 21 second limit.
I just use the stalls, but that’s mainly because I’m self conscious about my peeper, and I’ve seen enough cruising in the men’s room porn to be worried about Looky loos /s
While I’ve said no one is paying attention to you if you’re not peeing, I have to admit I do notice those old guys that stand there for like five minutes leaking it out a spurt at a time. They seem to defy the 21 second rule.
I don’t know what age you are, but if you’re too young to have known, some people have medical conditions that make them struggle to pee.
I don’t think this is medical conditions. I think it’s just people shy about urinating. I just didn’t realize how common it was.
talI sometimes think that maybe as a society we’d be better off relaxing nudity taboos or something.
Totally agree. Or maybe there could be a little fig leaf dispenser by the urinals so all the shy guys can hide their junk from god whilst they micturate.
I dunno even pets like dogs have to make eye contact with their owner while shitting to feel comfortable and they know nothing of our puritanical ways.
MalReynoldsI upvoted, but mine’s a sighthound and she don’t care…
Most dogs view their humans as pack alphas, and in nature they feel vulnerable to attack while they’re shitting. So they look to the alpha to see that they’re safe. They don’t so much want you to watch them as to look beyond and behind them so they can see your reaction if something starts approaching.
Only sometimes?
steboit’s not that it’s just that public toilets are an uneasy place and therefore it’s hard to relax, especially when standing up at a urinal instead of sitting down
You usually sit down at urinals?
no at a regular toilet of course
JackFrostNColaFor me its the pressure of someone waiting to use it after me, especially when its a lot of people like a packed pub or break time at a show/live music/event etc.
The amount of times if have pretended to have finished, gone washed my hands a walk out only to wait 10mins to go try again…
The amount of times if have pretended to have finished, gone washed my hands a walk out only to wait 10mins to go try again…
My trick for dealing with “blushing bladder” is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it’s awkward but there’s no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I’m looking at my dick saying “shazam”.
Gomer, is that you?
Surprise, surprise, surprise!
I do the same type of thing, but I just swish saliva around in my mouth. For some reason that gets my mind off it and next thing I know, I’m peeing.
I read on reddit one time—years and years ago—that doing simple multiplication can help occupy the part of your brain keeping you from pissing. A sequence like 2x2=4, 4x4=16, 16x16=256…etc.
I’ve been doing that ever since, and it really helps. Usually by the time I get to doing 16x16 in my head, I’m already peeing.
tatterdemalionI just push really hard and force the pee out like a fucking man.
Hey now that gives me an idea…
SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM!
You gotta get up close and say it to his dick.
DUMBASSYou do know it’s not a requirement to use the urinal, they also have private pee booths as well.
Yeah if you want to wait a lot longer
Nothing comes free
Us normal pissers also listen to the booths when we suspect a weener-holder.
That’s why randomly drop change into the bowl to make people think I’m doing a twozy.
KingJalopy That’s why I act like I’m pooping. I’ll sit down and make grunt noises while aiming my piss at the side of the bowl so no one hears I’m actually peeing. Because that’s less embarrassing than knowing you all think I’m too afraid to piss in front of you. I even pull toilet paper out and wipe it on my thigh so all you actual Weiner holders believing I’m wiping my ass. Who’s the fool now? Not only was I too afraid to pee in front of you, I convinced you I was taking a manly shit while you probably nodded in approval at the other Weiner holders next to you. Check mate.
Oldest trick in the book. But you haven’t thought about the smell!
Thats why you allways carry some older poop with you
I detest you holders with my entire being, but you sir, I respect you as an adversary.
That’s why you should never properly clean the asshole and carry a shit mark on the trousers.
That’s where they get ya