You better fucking subscribe to The Onion. This is the kind of thing we will do with your money.

It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.

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http://membership.theonion.com/
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Donโ€™t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

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@oneunderscore__

I went to school in Madison for a short time, and that made me try to count how many years I've known The Onion and I really can't count that high.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคช

@oneunderscore__ Donated.

This is great news in a grim news month.

Hearing that if I subscribe you'll send me a dropbox link to a pdf revealing if Bill Hicks is still alive. Is that true?
I kinda want to know: Are you gonna keep the InfoWars branding?
If they said yes, how would you know if it was parody or not?
I think thatโ€™s the point.
Maybe just buying it for the technology