When I tried Salvia for the first time I was chased by dragons until I realized they were all made of paper and I was actually on a TV set. I ran from the crowd as the angry mob demanded me but I found myself in the woods and talked to the spirit who calmed the riots and showed me the way home.

When I tried acid I tried riding the bus and the sensation of forward momentum felt so alien and novel that I genuinely thought I was on a starship engaging hyperspeed and was moved to tears by the sheer force. Needless to say, I got off at the next stop and talked to the nearest tree that called to me.

Always have a trip sitter, kids.