mekka okereke Oct 21, 2024

There's a disgusting inversion going on right now where people try to justify incel behavior by saying men are lonely. This makes people feel bad about pushing back on this, because it sounds like you're a callous person that doesn't care about the very real pain of loneliness?

No. This is a nonsense trap.

Women get lonely. Black people get lonely. Loneliness is a real problem.

But loneliness is not justification for *checks notes* becoming a literal nazi and electing a racist dictator.

1/N

Show threadmekka okereke Oct 21, 2024

Loneliness, combined with an extreme sense of entitlement, leads people to believe that they should be able to be terrible people, and yet somehow not lonely. It doesn't work that way.

And a lot of that loneliness is self-imposed!

White US toxic masculinity is a prison where you are your own warden. There are all these silly rules that keep white men in the US lonely and unhappy. Like seriously, we have news anchors telling men not to enjoy ice cream because that's not "manly?" Really?

2/N

Show threadAshe Dryden 🙆🏼‍♀️🐈🐈‍⬛Oct 21, 2024
@mekkaokereke this sounds like something they would throw at a woman, tbqh
Show threadsiderealOct 21, 2024
@Ashedryden @mekkaokereke You can see the double standard when folks are handwringing about “the loneliness epidemic in men” but then also making fun of the “childless cat lady” bc she’s “going to be alone when she’s old.”
Show threadPeter ButlerOct 21, 2024

@sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke

Why a "loneliness epidemic" only for men?

Anecdotally, though, it seems true. I see a lot of women walking alone these days (even without dogs!) and they seem pretty happy about it

It could be historical discrimination leveling out

Men seem lonely because they used to be able to force women to marry them

Women seem happy because they’re finally allowed to be alone

The answer (as noted) is for men to get over themselves

Show threadFifi LamouraOct 21, 2024
@peterbutler The term incel was actually invented by a woman in Ontario who couldn't find a sexual partner. It got appropriated and turned into something else by men who feel entitled to sex with women they view as desirable objects. The problem here is them not seeing people as people and feeling entitled to sex with hot women (without paying for it). It's all grandiosity, narcissism and not seeing women as people on the male incel side. It's perhaps understandable in younger teenage boys who are trying to figured stuff out, which is who the predatory men target, if they don't have someone to help them navigate their social anxieties and learn to become friends with girls. @sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke
Show threadMx VerdaOct 22, 2024

@fifilamoura @peterbutler @sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke

I gotta ask: why is “treat people like people” so hard for “boys” to understand? Is this a cis binary thing I’m not getting?
(Or am I missing something: Do cis girls *want* special gendered treatment?)

Show threadFifi Lamoura
@MxVerda It's not innately hard for most boys. Plenty of boys and men see girls and women as people and equals. Some people, including some female people, see others as objects to be exploited and not fellow people with a right to agency. But our culture and society tends to promote women as objects and has some very weird values around sex and partnership. This is partly religious in origin. This is playing out politically and socially with fascism and White supremacy being the crystallization of these ideas about other people only being objects to be exploited. @peterbutler @sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke
Oct 22, 2024 at 1:29pmWeb