There's a disgusting inversion going on right now where people try to justify incel behavior by saying men are lonely. This makes people feel bad about pushing back on this, because it sounds like you're a callous person that doesn't care about the very real pain of loneliness?
No. This is a nonsense trap.
Women get lonely. Black people get lonely. Loneliness is a real problem.
But loneliness is not justification for *checks notes* becoming a literal nazi and electing a racist dictator.
1/N
Loneliness, combined with an extreme sense of entitlement, leads people to believe that they should be able to be terrible people, and yet somehow not lonely. It doesn't work that way.
And a lot of that loneliness is self-imposed!
White US toxic masculinity is a prison where you are your own warden. There are all these silly rules that keep white men in the US lonely and unhappy. Like seriously, we have news anchors telling men not to enjoy ice cream because that's not "manly?" Really?
2/N
@sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke
Why a "loneliness epidemic" only for men?
Anecdotally, though, it seems true. I see a lot of women walking alone these days (even without dogs!) and they seem pretty happy about it
It could be historical discrimination leveling out
Men seem lonely because they used to be able to force women to marry them
Women seem happy because they’re finally allowed to be alone
The answer (as noted) is for men to get over themselves
@sidereal @peterbutler @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke It surprises me to see someone praising dating apps in this context; I find them horribly alienating. I'm also reflecting today on how different people's feelings about sexuality and relationships can be, and it does seem like some people thrive on them.
By and large, I do think there's been a methodical elimination of public social life. Part of it is the deliberate elimination or privatization of any public spaces, including virtual spaces.
@foolishowl @sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke
I think the internet/smartphones is part of it
I don’t know if that's true, but it *feels* like there are far less people out and about because they’re inside on their phones or computers
The loss of non-commercial public spaces has been happening for decades, but this “loneliness epidemic" definitely feels like a Web3.0 era thing
I also find Internet relationships to have an "uncanny valley” effect — not quite the same as IRL friendships
@peterbutler @sidereal @Ashedryden @mekkaokereke I feel like what I sometimes have heard called "nerd culture" used to thrive on the Internet. It had problematic aspects -- a lot of misogyny in particular -- but I felt that we could communicate in text in a way we couldn't so easily in person. For me at least, autism likely had a lot to do with it.
Early MMOs, for instance, had a significant social aspect to them, that I feel was rationalized away in favor of efficient gameplay.
mekka okereke 
Ashe Dryden 🙆🏼♀️🐈🐈⬛
sidereal
Peter Butler
FoolishOwl