Kaiyoto

My hero

https://lemmy.world/post/20932664

My hero - Lemmy.World

Probably not the first time this has made it’s rounds but this was the first time I’ve seen this story.

Oct 17, 2024 at 1:22amWeb
Show threadWorxOct 17, 2024
Or just ask them to put you on the “do not call” list and they shouldn’t bother you again for several years.
Show threadHegarOct 17, 2024
Studies consistently show that devil vagina magic is the more effective solution.
Show threadEntropywinsOct 17, 2024
I know devil vagina magic has caught me up a few times
Show threadthefartographerOct 17, 2024

I wish I could’ve participated in that study, I love magic!

DVM: *Pulls out seemingly endless scarves*

Me: *Claps gleefully*

DVM: *Makes my head spin around 3 times*

Me: I didn’t like that one as much

DVM: *Makes a quarter appear*

Me: I’m still dizzy from that last trick. Can you give me a second?

Show threadBassTurdOct 17, 2024
Nah. Keep you religion to yourself, regardless of your religion, and especially at my residence during my personal time.
Show threadRedditWandererOct 17, 2024

It’s one thing to preach in public, but gtf off my lawn!

As a millennial, my heart still stops when the door rings, obviously it’s the police or something or I would have gotten a text. I should have bought a house without a front door

Show threadparodyOct 17, 2024

TST shouldn’t doorknock to spread the word about their services?!

Show threadBeardedBlazeOct 17, 2024
Which part of “regardless of your religion” did you not understand?
Show threadRedditWandererOct 17, 2024
Yeah, and I also keep weeds out of my garden by shouting at them and squirls out of my trees with signs that say: no squirrels
Show threadthefartographerOct 17, 2024
My friends leave my garden when I shout at my weeds. I must be yelling the wrong words
Show threadOpenStarsOct 17, 2024
Have you tried devil vagina magik though?
Show threadgo $fsck yourselfOct 17, 2024
That “shouldn’t” is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.
Show threadStriderOct 17, 2024

You could just tell them you’re an apostate.

Those they actively avoid.

Show threadnot_that_guy05Oct 17, 2024
Exercise this snatch, bitches.
Show threadlurch (he/him)Oct 17, 2024
did they succumb tho?
Show threadRedditWandererOct 17, 2024
I mean look at that smirk
Show threadLemmyKnowsBestOct 17, 2024
Ok but was that a mugshot after being arrested for indecent exposure?
Show threadDogPeePooOct 17, 2024
WITNESS ME!!!
Show threadjayboneOct 17, 2024
Final form
Show threadThePyroPythonOct 17, 2024
Is it shiny and chrome?
Show threadKlearOct 17, 2024
Shiny and firefox
Show threadJo MiranOct 17, 2024
🎶 There goes my hero, watch her as she goes.🎶
Show threadyemmlyOct 17, 2024
Give her a medal.
Show threadSharkEatingBreakfastOct 17, 2024
You can also chase them off your property by saying you’ve been excommunicated, and they’ll never come back.
Show threadgo $fsck yourselfOct 17, 2024
Considering that’s not the term they use, it would not be very effective. They would know you’re lying.
Show threadKbobabobOct 17, 2024
Since you didn’t actually provide a good response, it’s called disfellowshipped.
Show threadSpacehooksOct 17, 2024
Thx!
Show threadargarathOct 17, 2024
Thank you!!! I just need to figure out their term in Portuguese now and I’ll be golden here in Brazil and when I finally move in with my BFs in the USA
Show threadjdrOct 17, 2024

desassociação

For an organization that’s all about missionary work, the predictably very good with having a translation for everything to every language.

Show threadargarathOct 18, 2024
Thank you very much!!! That is incredibly helpful!! Now I’m actually excited for the next time they come knocking! Shame I didn’t know this last sunday when they passed by my house, but now I know!!
Show threadBlanketsWithSmallpoxOct 17, 2024
It’s actually dishonorably dismounted.
Show threadgo $fsck yourselfOct 17, 2024

Still won’t work. It’s just not worth trying to remember it, and thus not worth mentioning the word.

It’s more nuanced than that. You can’t be disfellowshipped unless you were baptized as a JW, which you can tell if someone was or not. That’s just not something you can easily lie about. At best you can say you were “disassociated”, but that’s not worth that either.

You’re better off just saying “put me on your do not call list” than trying to come up with a lie like that.

Show threadSharkEatingBreakfastOct 17, 2024
Thank you! My old coworkers were all JW, but I forgot the word and used the protestant equivalent.
Show threadCorkyskogOct 17, 2024
Or you were so bad of a practitioner that you didn’t even bother to learn what it was called
Show threadP00ptartOct 17, 2024
No no, what you do is you ask them if they know why the church is making them go door to door. When they say “to spread the word of God” you correct them. “No, they know that going door to door won’t get new members of your church because doing so is rude. They want people to get mad at you and treat you poorly so that you run back to your church saying how mean everyone was. That’s when they pull YOU in closer. You’re being played.” It won’t save their souls from the cult, but it plants a seed of doubt. And if they go back and tell the church what you said, you’ll be put on a list of houses to not return to.
Show threaddoingthestuffOct 17, 2024
My dad’s brother just kept answering the door naked and they stopped coming back. Her devil vagina magic might have worked if she was cute.
Show threadAvicennaOct 17, 2024
remember that no matter how crazy you are, there are crazier
Show threadKomfortablesKissenOct 17, 2024

That face just screams “Do what you must, I’ve already won”.

Awesome

Show thread01011Oct 17, 2024
I answered the door naked once (I was enroute to the shower) and they never bothered me again.
Show threadItdidnttrickledownOct 17, 2024
Had a friend who did that after getting out of shower one morning. He was headed to bed after a twelve hour shift and they had woke him up three Saturdays in a row. He was 5’8’’ and around 160 pounds but we called him Big Ed. Guess why?
Show threadP00ptartOct 17, 2024
I’m guessing he had big teeth? /s
Show threadShowroom7561Oct 17, 2024
Is that a mug shot? She was arrested for being the hero we all need?
Show threadlennivelkantOct 17, 2024
Public indecency, I’m guessing. Some people have a stick up their arse about nudity, which is decidedly on the unpleasant side of the butt fun scale.
Show threadDonutOct 17, 2024
No, it’s not real. The original source is a satirical news site. Sorry friends.
Show threadShowroom7561Oct 17, 2024

The original source is a satirical news site

Well, that would have been nice to know! LOL The screenshot and post gives no context of where this story came from.

Show threadKaiyotoOct 23, 2024
Oh shit, you’re right. I thought it included the link but I fucking ate the onion :(
Show threadKaiyotoOct 23, 2024
Oh shit, you’re right. I though I included the link. I ate the onion :(
Show threadFLP22012005Oct 17, 2024
Smug shot
Show threadIMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTIONOct 17, 2024
my wife was raised JW. she has said that the mandatory proselytizing was humiliating but her parents forced her to do it. it’s a minor annoyance for us but for those trapped in the cult without a way out, it might be torture.