What is this?! Actual motorcycles, and not just heavyweight electric bicycles from some startup no one’s ever heard of with 17 feet of range and a top speed of 3? Be still my beating heart.

I have an old (2000) Honda Shadow, and I can’t say it’s anything but bulletproof. It’s reasonably easy to work on and if you shake any random tree, compatible parts for it just fall out. If I had my druthers and I wanted to buy yet another motorcycle and it absolutely had to be a cruiser, I would take the Vulcan S. There is something delightfully cheeky about a cruiser with the powerplant of a Ninja 650 in it.

Here’s a Top Gear Top Tip: Any time the blurb starts prattling on about “urban” this, “tight streets” that, or reviewers start gushing about how “fun” a given bike is while studiously avoiding using any numbers for anything whatsoever, that is actually them telling you that the motorcycle in question is in fact extremely slow. Riders who happen to be looking for a gutless runabout on purpose, one that will never leave the confines of their city nor ever have an opportunity crack 35 MPH, will probably actually be much better served by a small displacement twist-and-go scooter, 90 to 125cc. This will be both more practical and significantly more fuel efficient, and also won’t give you arthritis in your left hand before you’ve made it down the road three blocks. This is regardless of incessant protests to the contrary from people who’ll think that 650+ cc’s are somehow mandatory to prevent bullies from kicking sand in your face.

I will also add that if you’re both a first time rider and also imprisoned entirely in an urban location, a cruiser with foot-forward controls of any stripe is probably not the optimal choice for your environment. Of course it’s not impossible to control a cruiser deftly at low speed, but it’s much less annoying to do it on a lighter bike that’s got a more upright seating position. Especially if that’s all you’re ever going to do with it. If you want to be hipster about it, consider a Honda Super Cub. If the reputation of your hemp messenger bag and beanie are at stake, go for a vintage one. They’re ideal for Tight Urban Streets, and plenty of Fun.