From a Discord comment about this post:

you know, i'm surprised lina and cyan talk about something so personal publicly

I think people don't write enough about healthy relationship dynamics. Sure, it's personal, but how are others supposed to learn what is healthy and what isn't if we don't talk about it?

The internet is full of horror stories about abuse, neglect, weaponized incompetence, cheating... but you almost never see long posts about positive relationship situations. The bad stories are a good reference for what not to do... but how are people going to learn what to do?

The way relationships are presented in media is very stereotyped, dry and often ritualistic (and sometimes actually veering on abuse or toxicity even when that is not the intent), but it's the only reference a lot of young people have for this stuff. Is that really okay?

I get the feeling a lot of people fall into "tolerable" relationships because they feel obliged to, or due to peer or family pressure, and they never realize that's not how it's supposed to be, because they just don't know. They think that as long as you aren't having regular fights with your partner and there is no physical abuse, that's a healthy relationship. But that's just the lowest bar...

I waited many years until I found Cyan, but I'm so glad I did. 🩵