ompucoJust got a call from my mom that it's looking like my dad may not be around for much longer (read: maybe within the week),
so I'm just sorta grappling with that while I'm way across the country.
been trying to come to terms with this a lot over the last year, but it's finally getting to that point, and it's awful.
Just got the call.
He’s gone.
For the most part, I feel that I’ve already internalized & accepted this over the last few months, so in a way, it’s not as starkly upsetting, but its still hard knowing he’s really gone now. I wish I could’ve been there for him in his last days, but I’m glad my mom was able to be there for him to the very end.
He was a wonderful person, writer, singer, producer, & father, and we’re all going to miss him so much. I’m glad to have had a father like him.
ToboAnyways, I've set up my donations page to reference this, since getting an immediate flight is out of my price range, especially between contracts.
Feel free to throw in anything if you can, no worries if you can't.
https://ko-fi.com/ompuco/goal?g=4
In the mean time, I'm crying a lot, but I know I'll find my peace.
Thank you everyone for the kind words. It really means a lot.
i really don't know why, but the recent loss has finally begun hitting devastatingly & crushingly hard today, and my mom's been too busy with funeral planning to really talk to about it (i'm sure she's hurting too).
i had to cut clothes shopping short since i kept feeling myself about to cry, and then i had to wait in the car for a while before driving just so i could calm down & see clearly again.
i basically never get like this or ever really cry much at all, & really didn't expect it to just utterly destroy me since he'd been fading away for some time already & i already accepted it ages ago, but god, this hurts so fucking much.
probably doesn't help that i've been too afraid to socialize at all since it happened, but i think i could really use that sorta thing badly right now.
wouldn't mind dropping into a call or even hosting a stream later tonight once i get laundry going & pack halfway, just so i'm not alone overthinking my grief.
GoodNewsGreyShoes🔞(on hiatus)@gij Grief is one of the most powerful, least predictable emotions we're capable of, & nothing ever truly prepares you for when it hits.
It sounds like you're doing your best to work thru that grief while juggling the rest of your responsibilities (not an easy feat, even in the best possible circumstances).
It's the kind of thing that's far easier to do together, with others who share the same grief, or who you know & trust. ❤️
Enbyeon 
@gij I'll do my best to tune in as much as work allows. I'm sorry you're going through this.