In today's episode of I Wish This Were Satire: a local business owner is suing the food bank, yes, the FOOD BANK where people go to get food for themselves and their children.

Why? Depends on who you ask: either because this guy doesn't want to pay his rent and is trying to get a settlement from the city OR because, in his words, ""As proposed, the Food Bank building would be built illegally on a Historic parking lot. This parking will be stolen forever from the People of Alameda."

The food bank expansion would steal our... historic parking?