when im trying to get a job i always use ol' reliable to explain why i should be hired:

i have concepts of a CV

and if they are suspicious:

many such cases believe me.
i am going to make this company great again. i am the greatest employee frankly, to ever have emplooye'd, youll get sick of how great i am — youll be like, 'wow this guys great, probably the greatest ever, frankly'. *jazz hands the entire time*

(off-topic but im unemployed and looking for employment)