š¹Early to RISA š§Anon misses something
_____I know that this is a male pov but seriously that is also an L for the lady. Canāt be throwing hints and expect everyone to be Mr hint getter
CaptainEffortIdk itās not really a hint, thatās pretty direct. If I were her Iād assume I got rejected.
This is not direct at all though. Direct is āmy shift is almost done, do you want to hang out later?ā. Being direct means you do actually have to include saying what you want.
Yeah, even when youāre 99% sure the person is flirting with you, you gotta balance that with what might happen if youāre wrong.
Read the situation wrong and you could end up handcuffed on the sidewalk with pepper spray in your eyes.
Fuck that. If not being willing to take that risk means dying alone, Iāll choose the latter.
And what about from the womanās perspective? Do you really want strange men making guesses about whether youāre flirting with them or not? Knowing exactly what could happen if the wrong guy gets the wrong idea and wonāt take ānoā for an answer?
Iām not trying to victim-blame or make excuses for anyone. But thereās nothing to win by playing these kinds of mind games, so whatās the fucking point?
What on earth are you talking about?
Thereās nothing easier than just explicitly checking in whether youāve read the signals correctly or not before making any creepy moves.
Tip #1 for flirting: Make sure that the other person has a very easy way out of anything they might not like. Then you know theyāre enthusiastically consenting for whatever comes next.
One of the most common things in threads about missed signals is people with social skills assuming that everybody is equally capable in social situations
Or that their own experiences socially, translate to others.
Looks DO matter, more so than most will admit. Itās like being rich, theyāll tell you they got rich by being smart or hard working, but will be willfully ignorant of the inheritance or luck they got.
Make sure that the other person has a very easy way out of anything they might not like. Then you know theyāre enthusiastically consenting for whatever comes next.
Well yes, absolutely. Consent is paramount and enthusiastic consent is the best kind. Bad choice of hyperbole on my part, Iāll admit.
But even so, if youāre not conventionally attractive or charismatic, even just checking can result in getting treated like a creep. The people who constantly say āthey worst they can say is noā have likely never gotten āeww, noā as a response before.
But if you have, especially more than once, you kinda just get used to assuming thatās the default answer. Thatās kind of what I was getting at.
Iād rather just not have to guess.
Yup, I mostly just assume everyone except my wife doesnāt really want anything to do with me and that Iām probably a giant creep to everyone else, so I donāt make eye contact and I try my best to ignore hints lest I get them wrong.
The hilarious part of all this is that Iām asexual and sex-repulsed, and Iām one of the least creepy and perverted people on the planet, but try telling my subconscious that.
I even check in with my wife sometimes and ask her if she still loves me. She does.
In the context of a conversation about people who come in just before closing it could also just be taken as a hint that he is one of those people.
Yeah, if I was smoother with women, Iād have probably gone with āis that you trying to make weekend plans, or telling me to gtfo?ā but in a casual way so she knows Iām not offended.
Yeah, if I was smoother with women, Iād have probably gone with āis that you trying to make weekend plans, or telling me to gtfo?ā but in a casual way so she knows Iām not offended.
Thatāsā¦ How I took it before reading the commentsā¦