Lesbian Death Bed
1
David Fincher: hi i'm david fincher
Fincher: i used to be big in hollywood until the curious case of benjamin button
Fincher: now i have to share an apartment with david cronenberg & david lynch
Fincher: so stay tuned for
Fincher: David, David & David
Fincher: coming this fall
Aug 26, 2024 at 10:03pmWeb
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
2
Fincher: [bursting into room, arms flailing] David! David! I've got huge news!
Lynch: the deep in the dark, the eyes in the snail?
[Sustained Audience hooting and hollering, 30 sec]
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
3
Fincher: David, what am I gonna do? This dog followed me home...
[camera close-up on dog, sustained audience 'awwww' 30 sec]
Fincher: but David Cronenberg HATES mammalian life forms! What am I gonna do??
Lynch: the deep in the dark, the eyes in the snail
[audience hooting, 2 min]
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
4
Fincher: you're saying that I should disguise this dog as a xenomorph?
Lynch: the deep in the dark, the eyes in the snail
Fincher: that's crazy! it would never work
[smash cut to Fincher dressing dog as a xenomorph, audience laughter 10 sec]
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
5
David Cronenberg: hey honey i'm home!
Cronenberg: god what a day
Cronenberg: my boss down at the ponderous 70s sci fi factory was riding my ass all day
Cronenberg: the brechtian distancing mechanism got jammed again
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
6
Fincher: oh gee that sounds awful
Fincher: maybe you'll feel better after you sit in your favorite weird chair made of teeth and spinal columns?
Fincher: here, put your feet up
Fincher: let me get you your favorite pipe made out of gristle
Cronenberg: why are you being so nice
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
7
[knock on door]
Fincher: who could that be?
Dean Koontz: hi everyone!
[sustained audience applause, 40 sec]
Fincher: why, it's our wacky next door neighbor dean koontz!
Koontz: i heard you had a dog here!
[sustained audience laughter, 50 sec]
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
8
Koontz: i just wanted to come over and see your new dog
Fincher: ixnay on the ognay!
Cronenberg: a dog?! what's all this about
Cronenberg: DAVID is there a dog in the house?? >:C
Cronenberg: you know how i feel about animals with all their organs on the inside! >:C
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
9
Fincher: you don't understand david
Fincher: this dog is really friendly!
Cronenberg: you know how i feel about mammalian life forms!
Fincher: he's a good dog! you'll like him! he's got veins! he's full of them!
Cronenberg: that's NOT good enough!
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
10
Cronenberg: show me this dog!
[dog waddles out, wearing xenomorph suit]
Cronenberg:
Cronenberg: that's a xenomorph
Fincher: yeah i know it's stupid
Cronenberg: I LOVE XENOMORPHS!
Fincher: you do?
Cronenberg: i admire their purity [chef's kiss]
Show threadLesbian Death BedAug 26, 2024
11
Fincher: does that mean we can keep him?
Cronenberg: only if you promise to take good care of him
Cronenberg: a dog is a big responsibility
Cronenberg: you have to shine that chrome carapace everyday
Lynch: the deep in the dark, the eyes in the snail!
[audience goes wild]
Show threadVancouveryAug 27, 2024
@bitterkarella 🐰🐰🐰
Show threadErik (OLD ACCOUNT)Aug 27, 2024
@bitterkarella love it😆😆😆
Show threadCainmark Does Not Comply 🚲Aug 26, 2024

@bitterkarella

Oh, someone has definitely watched Cronenberg movies. Perfect line for its existanz.

Show threadAmbient SpongeAug 26, 2024
@bitterkarella I would absolutely watch that.
Show threadOlaf Delgado-FriedrichsAug 26, 2024
@bitterkarella This would be my favorite sitcom ever, but clearly the title needs to be David³.
Show threadThe Witch of Crow BriarAug 27, 2024
@olafdf @bitterkarella Unfortunately, Ridley Scott owns the perpetual copyright on pretentiously cubed titles.