@left_adjoint this reminds me of how back before i became too much of an anxiety addled wreck of nerves to work a traditional job, an older coworker of mine told me (in my late 20s) that I wasn't a real adult

a real adult he said, had a car. and a house. i had neither

it didn't matter that I couldn't afford them or that i'm too easily distracted to drive. and it didn't matter that as a consequence of him having them he was drowning in debt and could barely afford to feed his kids