Turns out Christians were down to 20% before #FatHitler slapped the side of his own face with a blood pack, and claimed to be proof that... well... God? I guess?

Now, they're back up to 80% and instead of wearing crosses around their necks, they're wearing tampons on their heads.

And yet, people don't believe that the "shooting" was #Kayfabe. A theatrical scam designed to help him win votes, the #RegisteredRepublican was a useful idiot, and the fireman was collateral damage.