If anyone doesn’t know it yet:

The podcast Tech Won’t Save Us has a wonderful series called “Elon Musk Unmasked” where they also debunked all of his empty promises.

techwontsave.us/elon-musk-unmasked

Wish Version Iron Man

Oh that’s good.

I also like: Rebate Rockefeller.

Website says:

Close to Zero New Cases

[Link]

• 1,601 days since Elon Musk predicted that Coronoavirus would vanish soon in the US to justify keeping Tesla’s factories open. (3/19/2020)

“Based on current trends, probably close to zero new cases in US too by end of April”

Elon Musk in a Tweet

Children Immune

[Link]

• 1,601 days since Elon Musk assured parents that children were basically immune to coronavirus. (3/19/2020)

“Kids are essentially immune, but elderly with existing conditions are vulnerable.”

Elon Musk in a Tweet

Just the Flu

[Link]

• 1,649 days since Elon Musk said Coronavirus would be similar to the flu. (1/31/2020)

“There is considerable conflation of diagnosis & contraction of “corona”. Actual virality is much lower than it would seem. I think this will turn out to be comparable to other forms of influenza.”

Elon Musk in a Tweet

It’s a cultural skill developed over many centuries where armies stood on opposite ends of a field and insulted eachother before the charge happened.

Here’s a breakdown of the aforementioned insult:

“You Fucking” used as a layup for whatever follows. It is best to exclude swears for subsequent words unless you intend to punctuate the end with a worse swear. The only one up from “Fuck” is “Cunt” without getting into slurs.

“Nepo” shorthand for nepotism, this is the personal attack element and should be first in the insult. If you imagine stabbing someone with words, this is the one that breaks through the skin. It also has two syllables so it can follow on well from “fucking” which also has two.

“Silverspoon-lollipop” is the final thrust of the insult deep into their soul. This has three elements:

• It is a second personal attack that is closely related to the first as it denotes inherited wealth.
• It is the first part of “silverspoon-lollipop”. This paints the image in one’s mind of Elon having a silverspoon stuck up his arse and therefore making him a human lollipop (popsicle). Creating an absurd and humiliating visual of your opponent is a good way to inject a healthy dose of comedy which is THE key ingredient to any good putdown. Lollipop, as an inherently silly-sounding word, is the punchline again because of the absurdity of feeling destroyed by being called a lollipop.
• Both sets of words have the same number of syllables. This gives the insult a good rhythm: 2-2-3-3.

In closing, this is a skill that can be learnt it just requires practicing a few rules-of-thumb:

• Target weaknesses and personal flaws in your opponent that they can’t deny.
• Warp those flaws into an absurdity that adds comedy.
• Be sparing with swears and use them as layups or punctuation.
• Think about syllables and rhythm like one would do in a rap or roast battle. If it’s too long, split it into multiple insults.
• Keep in mind your cultural sensitivities. For example, in the UK it’s pretty universal that the only swears more offensive than “Cunt” are ethnic and cultural slurs. I also learnt from my Romanian friend that a lot of the worst insults from there are centred around the mother or the sister.
• If use your cultures’ sayings and idioms, which are more widespread in English than people realise, as shorthand.
• Practice, practice, practice.

Use these guidelines and you’ll have your enemy’s soul demoralised and destroyed their therapist will need a therapist. Happy insulting, ya bastards! 😊