maple maple maple maple maple maple maplefeeling pretty dysphoric so im doing things to clean myself up and see im not masc i just hold myself to unrealistic standards of feminine presentation even when too sick with covid to stand for more than a few minutes and ive just been a sticky little illness gremlin girl
i think i did good job :) i definitely feel less dysphoric now. still got a lot of issues to work through. being gross shouldnt have sent me into a dysphoria spiral; im a girl no matter what.
despite being five years into transition, for abuse reasons we've only had the freedom to embrace being fem full time for ten months. it's hard for me to see my body as "a fem body because it's mine" because for four years of our transition, we had to say it wasnt.
on some level, i know i look pretty damn fem. that the people in public who misgender me are doing it on purpose (i have tits and a dress, asshole). but my worst critic is me.
