Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up chicks worshippers.

Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.

Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?

If God only accepts certain people, then why did He die for everybody?

The belief in a hell or in a Limbo kind of prove that paradise is not for everyone. Depends which dogmas you grew up with, at this point.
About God being sacrificed to himself, it was mainly a way to stop an old tradition of sacrificing goats every year in order to atone for sins. Now people can just say that the Christ already died for that, so they don’t have to act like barbarians and kill poor animals.

The offer is for everyone, people choose whether or not to take Him up on it

“I sell luxury housing for everyone, it’s not my fault if some people are poor!”
My brother in christ, YOU made poor people.