Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up chicks worshippers.

Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.

Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?

And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murderers? Rapists? Slave owners? …? Yep. But, “Do not question God’s intentions. He works in mysterious ways.”