THIS. This is why 'I don't want to put a label on my child' is harmful. If you don't know you're not neurotypical, you end up thinking it's a personal failing that you don't fit in/keep up, and that you're not trying hard enough even though you've been trying hard all your life.

Neurodivergent Kids Flourish When They're Taught How Their Brains Work - Scientific American
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/neurodivergent-kids-flourish-when-theyre-taught-how-their-brains-work/